Just A Little Break

WE EXPRESS, CRY, HEAL AND TEASE

Ben and Miranda slept through the rest of the night peacefully and uninterrupted. Luckily they both were off because they slept right through both of their alarms.

They woke up around noon still entangled within one another.

Ben started kissing on Miranda's neck as she deeply inhaled with every kiss.

"Miranda?"

"Yes Ben", she said exhaling trying to hold back her tears that started to form again.

"Turn around and look at me Miranda."

"I don't think I can Ben."

"We're going to be okay, okay?....Eventually just not right now it's going to take some time and work on both of our parts. I need you to learn to completely trust me and realize I'm not the past men in your life and that I got you."

"But I do trust you Ben", she said softly as she turned around in his arms facing him.

"Be honest with yourself Miranda. Deep down inside you really don't because if you did you wouldn't have did what you did without me. Not saying that you don't trust me on purpose, but subconsciously you don't and you do things unknowingly thinking you can't trust me from that causing you not to. You're a very strong, powerful, no nonsense having, beautiful and intelligent woman which is what attracted me to you instantly in the first place. Learning to have or accept help and let someone be there for you are your flaws though and that's okay. I'm your other half I fill in where you're lacking something just like you pick up where or what I slack in. It's what makes us one, but in order to keep us as one you have to realize that I got you and need to trust me no matter what with anything that you go through. You can't pick and choose what you want me to deal with. You're my wife Miranda and I love you so much it hurts and it hurt me beyond measurement that you didn't allow me to be there for you during something that was and is still so painful and traumatic", he said as his tears rolled down into the pillow.

Miranda wiped his face as she continued to listen to him express his feelings to her.

"Miranda I'm so mad and angry with you one because you didn't let me enjoy the first few moments that you did know you were pregnant. Even though she didn't make it."

Miranda started to cry and he wiped her tears.

"I still wanted to know. From now on if we are blessed again I want to know when you find out. I don't want to miss one second okay!?"

Miranda nodded her head yes.

"No tell me that you will Miranda."

"I will Benjamin I promise, but honestly...-"

"Honestly what Miranda?"

"I'm not ready to experience that again", she said through her tears crying harder. "Mentally and emotionally I just can't right now. I'm sorry Ben."

"It's okay I understand Miranda. I'm not pressuring you. I just want to be here for you."

"And I want you to be and I want to be there for you as well. Will you come back home Ben please? So we can go through this together and not alone. I need you more than you know right now because I can't handle all of these feelings resurfacing that I suppressed and never dealt with. It's hard it really is and it's too much. I'm a woman and I'm suppose to be able to carry a child Ben. I'm supposed to be able to help make this family grow bigger and I can't. I can't give you the one thing I'm suppose to give you. I know you said I'm all you want, but I'm not enough Ben.... I'm not enough ", she cried into his chest.

Ben pulled her in tighter rubbing her back and kissing the top of her head. "Miranda.....you are everything I need and want and more. Believe me when I tell you..okay and know that I mean every word. As long as I have you I can go the rest of my life with just us", he said as tears started to form in his eyes again. "Yes I'm come home Miranda", he said as he rocked her in his arms.