I Always Drift Back To You

Chapter 6: Part 3

Devi had rushed out of class almost dropping her book. She can barely breath... every second of being in that room... with him in it with her... had been truely hard to bare. He hadnt even looked her way... and she feels so aweful she wants to cry... she feels her stomach nauseous... she needs to escape somewhere he wont see her breakdown. She were barely able to keep her tears in... She needs to escape and fast... go somewhere no one will see her... She dashes down the stairs toward the parking lot, toward where her car sits... were she can escape... where she can sit alone and let all her tears stream out. Keeping her head down, trying to hide how her eyes fill with unshed tears... glazed, slightly red, wanting to tear up, she suddenly feels someone's hand grip her arm, stopping her dramatically. Her eyes shoot up to see Eleanor standing there, watching her slightly baffled.
"Devi, what happened? Are you ok?" She question, looking slightly startled when she notices her eyes, and she then steps closer. Devi huffs, and pulls her arm gently away, wiping a hand over her nose as she sniffles... frustrated, because she doesnt know how much longer she can keep her tears in... Eleanor may know Ben and Devi may have had a massive disagreement about something... I mean, Eleanor can usually sense when they've had their little disputes... but this time, she can sense it had been alot bigger... a dispute that were so big she could sense it clearly from across a room (as she had, first thing in the early morning before class had began)... it were definitely an argument bigger then usual. But what El hadnt known... was what the extent of the arguement had entirely been about (only that it were the usual disputes about college)... or... how much it had effected Devi... because she also hadnt known... how much Devi truelly felt about Ben.... and how much she were actually feeling utterly distraught... she felt every part of her were breaking, crumbling apart. Devi werent even sure how she would even make it through the day... And before she could even reply, her welled up tears began to roll from her eyes and stream down her cheek. Embarrassed she tries covering her face with a hand, ducking her head away. Eleanors eyes widen on her, instantly, and reaches to her, wrapping her arms gently around her, embracing her with a comforting hug. Devi can't help but tuck her head into her shoulders, chin trembling, and sniffling as she lets the tears out. Eleanor tugs her over to a bench nearby, under a shaded tree, where they both sit, Devi leaning onto her shoulder quietly without a word. After a short while, Eleanor turns to her. Her eyes flickering over her, studying her.
"That bad, Devi?" She asks as she tucks a strand of Devi's hair that had been dangling infront of her eyes, back behind her ear. Devi sniffles, and shrugs. She clears her throat, and fidgets with her hands.
"I don't know, El. I'm still so confused. I don't like not being able to talk to him... or to be near him." She scoffs, irritated with herself.
"Huh. So you guys aren't talking?"
"Nope." She replies in an irritated tone, biting down on her lip and popping out the 'p' in frustration. Eleanor sighs.
"Well. What are you going to do?" She questions curiously. Devi lifts her head to gaze at her, furrowing her brows with irritation and confusion, lips parted in suprise.
"Eleanor?" She whines. "What can I do?"
Eleanor awkwardly laughs.
"Yeah, I meant... you should not do anything. Ben better step up. Do you want me to talk to him?"
"Hell no! That would make things worse." Devi replies eyes widened on what she had suggested. "No offense El, but I don't want him pressured into thinking he needs to talk to me. I need to just... wait... or maybe..." She gulps, as she pulls her phone from her pocket "maybe I should-"
El snatches the phone out of her hand, gaping at her.
"You weren't actually thinking of calling him were you?! Devi!" El exclaims, disappointment written all over her. Devi winces as she drops her head back, flopping herself back onto the bench, and begins to whine.
"El, what am I supposed to do... I can't suffer like this any longer." She whines, covering her eyes with the palm of her hands. El just gazes back astonished.
"Devi... it's literally been a day. Ben was a douche, and now he has to make it up to you."
"Yeah... but his so damn stubborn, El... I just don't think he'll want to..."She groans, flipping her head back, taking in a few breaths to calm herself... then bobs it back. "...back down on his stupid idea that we could only work if we went to the same college."
El scoffs upon hearing this, her irritation building.
"Oh god." She mutters to herself, thinking about how dramatic, or dumb... she'd rather think, the two were being about all this. And also, on how Ben were being surprisingly selfish... more than usual, as she usually thought of him.
Devi suddenly feels the tears wanting to overwelm her once again, rubbing at her eyes, frustrated, then tucking into El's arm for some comfort. She sniffles, then let's her gaze met El's. "Maybe I should just go... with him to Harvard. I mean, it's the best-"
She's stopped when El laughs, purposely interrupting her, shaking her head.
"Nope. Nope. You, Devi Vishkumar... you are way way stronger than that. And I can't seriously believe you actually just said that!" And El's eyes gaze at her utterly baffled. Devi does a weak shrug, digging her head into the groove of her arm some more. She needs this ache in her body to just go! Her emotions well up again... and she begins to cry, chin trembling. El wraps her arms tightly around her friend and pulls her into a comforting hug, rubbing her arm. She tilts her head to rest on Devi's, and clears her throat.
"So... you really like him dont you? You like... really like him."
Devi bitterly laughs in between sniffles.
"Yeah... I... I think..." she clears her throat, feeling it welling up again... "I..."
"You love him."
Devi feels her face burn up with the need to cry again. God, why was she being this damn pathetic, she wants to curse to herself! She nods her head still, as the tears stream down her face.
"I don't want us to break up, El. But I cant understand why his being so damn stubborn over all of this." Then she fiddles with the helm of her sleeve, and her voice sounds grated with tears, like sandpaper, as it breaks. "I don't want him to go... I dont want him to give up... and it hurt to think he would. It's almost like his made up his mind."
El feels her jaw clench. Oh... she's done with this... She can't take seeing her friend like this anymore. She turns to Devi suddenly.
"Devi... but you know you cant let him keep doing this to you. Whatever you do, you need to make sure he takes what you want seriously... and if he doesnt... His clearly not worth it. His clearly not worth being with you. Trust me." El watches her seriously and firmly, eyes locked with hers. But she needs her to listen. "Show him you dont care. Keep your head up high, girl. His breaking you for no damn reason. Show him how strong you are. If he doesn't step up..." She grits her teeth. "His just no good for you. Not worth you or your time."
Devi wants to curl into a ball upon hearing these words... She wants to hold herself tight... she doesn't want the rest of the world to see her right now... because she is truelly hurting... hurting alot inside.
"Damn selfish jerk." El snaps, under her breath... it almost makes Devi snort a laugh, surprising her... El may come off as appearing so harmless, but she has a fierceness to her that Devi could only describe as cute... and she loves her for it. But El... she really still wants to pick that fight with Ben... but she'll do as Devi said... and stay away.