The Coffee Shop Coincidence

Chapter 23: Farewell

I wake the following morning, surprised to find Alex still on the floor beside me. I shift slightly and he immediately snaps awake, looking to the bed first before realizing I'm next to him. I only say, "Good morning."

He stares at me for a bit and then says, "Will you tell me what happened last night?"

I nod and move closer to him, "It started because a group of guys wearing football jackets showed up. It wasn't the ones from before, but it still made me anxious. Flynn noticed and he grabbed my wrist."

Alex stiffens a bit, and I continue quickly, "It's not his fault; he didn't know. Anyway, it was too much at that moment and...well you know the rest."

"I knew I shouldn't have left you." The words come out full of genuine regret and a bit of protectiveness.

"It's not your fault. Besides, my plan worked, Flynn is definitely interested in me." For some reason I can't bring myself to put as much excitement into my tone as I thought I would have.

Alex seems to think over his words carefully before saying, "Well, I suppose we should break up then. You can go get Flynn now."

Those words were inevitable, but something about them punches me in the stomach. With that, I finally come to the realization that I've been pushing down and setting aside for weeks: I like Alex.

I really, truly, like Alex.
I like the way he always knows what I'm thinking.
I like the way he can make me laugh.
I like how good he is with his siblings.
I like him.

But, Alex doesn't feel the same way or he wouldn't have suggested we "break up". So, I push down my feelings yet again and say, "I suppose we should."

We both lay there in silence for a bit, the words left unsaid heavy in the air between us. The sound of footsteps on the stairs pulls us out of the moment and we spring apart, me going to the bed, him to the chair in the corner.

My mom peeks her head around the door. "Good morning, you two. Alex, would you like to stay for breakfast?"

I would normally be surprised by my mom's change of heart, but I can only feel disappointment as Alex says, "Thank you, Mrs. Fisher, but I should be getting home."

My mom nods and smiles, walking back down to the kitchen. I stand and go to Alex, hugging him before saying, "Goodbye, Alex."

I didn't realize I was holding out hope until the moment he says, "Goodbye, Lizzie."

At that moment I know, in my heart, that this goodbye isn't a simple goodbye, but a final farewell to the people we've been for this last week.

He walks out my bedroom door, and I am left with a six foot and two inch, dark-haired, turquoise eyed, hole in my heart.

I do the only thing I can, and move on with my day. I walk into the kitchen for breakfast, watching as my father hugs my mother from behind, snatching a piece of bacon in the process and dancing away before she can catch him. I smile a little at the sight, the wound my father left years ago slowly piecing itself together. He places a kiss on my temple before sitting down next to me.

My mother joins us and it's like when I was a kid except for it's not. We're different. We've been damaged and fixed. We've lost trust and gained it back. Yet, we're still a family, we still have each other, and I'm glad of it.

After breakfast I go back to my room and finally change, pulling off the hoodie and sweatpants I vaguely remember my mom changing me into, and I glance over at the chair where Alex's jacket still lays.

It mocks me from the corner, calling me a coward. The books on my nightstand, calling me a fool. The blankets on the floor, calling me a liar.

Everywhere I look I'm reminded of Alex, and the next thing I know I'm moving, out, out, out, anywhere but my room. I'm in my car, driving, and I'm not entirely sure where I'm going until I'm at Dream Beans staring up at the sign. I walk in the door and Flynn spots me immediately.

It's like last week and yet not as I glance into the booth to my right, the absence of the boy from before giving me yet another punch in the gut. But, this time I smile at Flynn. This time I walk towards him. This time I don't back away.

"Hi, Flynn."

"Hi, Lizzie. You left the party so quickly last night, was everything okay?"

It's easier to lie than to explain so I say what I know will pique his interest, "Alex and I were fighting, we ended up breaking up last night and I couldn't stand to be at the party any longer."

Flynn only says, "I'm sorry to hear that." Yet his eyes tell a different story, and when I realize he won't be the one to ask I have to take the initiative.

"So, are you doing anything tonight?"

His eyes brighten as he says, "No. Are you sure it isn't too soon, though?"

And even though that piece of my heart is screaming at me to stop this and I want to turn back so badly, I ignore it, focusing on the guy in front of me, the one I've had a crush on my whole life, as I say, "It wasn't that big of a deal, we weren't together for very long."

That's the truth, whether or not I did come to this coffee shop in the hopes of finding Alex, I tell my stupid, traitorous heart and it stops fighting for a moment as I let all the years of feelings for Flynn flood my mind.

He says, "What about dinner? At seven?"

I say, "I would love to."

It's the truth, I want to see where this relationship could go. So, I turn around and leave the coffee shop, driving back to my house and ignoring that there is no one opening my door, no one reminding me to text him, no one holding my hand.

I reach my room, closing and locking the door behind me and then leaning against it. I say aloud, "He's not coming back." And with that final admission, that final acknowledgment of the truth, I build walls around that hole in my heart, keeping me out and the pain in. Visions of the future and memories of the past sealed in behind bricks and concrete.