The October Amaryllis

Chapter 36 - May 19th, 2020 - 1:13 P.M

Needless to say, I threw up despite my valiant efforts and lay in the bathroom for what felt like years but was a couple of minutes. Despite the floor being ice-cold, I couldn't find the motivation to get myself off of it no matter how hard I tried. I wanted to lie there in that one position until the end of time; I felt no motivation to do anything at all at that moment, to be honest with you. It's like I stopped caring about everything but time travel. My theory is that it somehow messed with my serotonin and dopamine receptors like a drug. The worst part is I kept doing it even though it made me feel like I was dying. I guess I did it so much because it distracted me from my other problems. Can't think about life's issues when you're delirious. It's funny how fragile the human brain is. All you have to do is mess around with a few chemicals, and you create a monster.

I could lie like this forever; it's quite peaceful.

Maybe I'll fall asleep and never wake up again... I wonder how people would react to my passing; would anyone care? I'm a nobody in this broken world. Why did you give me life, Father? Do I have a higher purpose? Save me. I beg you...

As I was lying there, I started humming along to the tune of Digital Animal by Honey Claws, although I'm not sure why. I first heard that song in Breaking Bad and have been obsessed with it ever since. What's funny is that I don't even like rap that much, the only rapper I really listen to is NF. Listen to his song How Could You Leave Us. I swear it'll change you. I used to listen to this one rapper called Sadistik, who's from Seattle like me, and I really loved his song Orange. Apparently, the song describes a type of synesthesia.

Eventually, someone came for me and asked me if I was alright and needed anything.

A way out of this wretched place would help. Oh, and I'd kill for a McRib right now.

"Do you have anything for nausea?" I nearly pleaded.

"We have Benadryl; how does that sound?"

"Does it work? That's all that matters to me," I asked, groaning.

"I think so, but I'll check. Did you force yourself to throw up?" he asked, looking right at me.

"No, there was something wrong with the food. I guess my stomach didn't like it or something."

"Okay, I'll be back soon. Stay right there," he said reassuringly before leaving.

Not like I got anywhere to go...

While he was gone, I stared at the bathroom walls in absolute boredom; they were the most boring color of them all: beige. If there were a trophy for the most boring walls ever, this bathroom would have taken 1st place. I was so bored; I almost wished I could watch grass grow.

After what felt like centuries, the man returned and handed me a single pink pill with water. The medicine was a most horrid neon pink color; looking at it was enough to make my eyes burn.

"Thanks," I said before drinking it down. Thankfully, the pill itself was tiny, so it wasn't a struggle, unlike most drugs.

"Of course, just a warning, though. Benadryl can make you exhausted. If you start feeling drowsy, then I recommend you get some sleep instead of fighting it."

"Wait, so I can operate heavy machinery then?" I joked.

"Not a chance," he said with a chuckle before walking away.

I eventually got up off the floor and went to my bed, where I sat down. In about fifteen minutes, I started feeling the worst drowsiness come over me; I was sedated, but not in a good way. I fought against falling asleep as much as I could, but eventually, I felt so damn uncomfortable that I gave in and went to sleep. Benadryl also makes my stomach hurt like crazy every time I take it; like I said, my stomach is weak.

* * *

I am walking in what looks like an apocalyptic landscape devoid of plant life in my nightmare. They built everything out of these menacing machine-like parts like what H. R. Giger would have made, specifically his piece National Park.

I must get out of this place, but how can I get out if I don't even know how I got in?

That's the bizarre thing with dreams and nightmares; for some reason, you never remember how they start; you only typically remember the middle and the end. Or even worse, it's all fragmented up in such a convoluted way that it's as if someone knocked you out several times over.

Walking past what looked like an abandoned war machine with scythes, I could see a little red button that I felt strangely compelled to press. I was pulling off that movie 9 at that moment.

Well, I know that a red button is typically not something you should press, but... this is only a dream after all.

Before I noticed it, I had pressed the button, and the machine started whirring and jerking around as if it was having a seizure. It was as if it was trying to break from some sort of bounds that were holding it back. What they could have held it back against, I'm not exactly sure.

Well, now I'm screwed.

I didn't wait to see what would happen next, so I ran off, but the machine sensing movement moved far swifter than I ever could have. I knew at that moment that I was done for, so I closed my eyes and braced for impact, knowing that the result would not be a pretty sight.

Lesson learned, never press shiny red buttons.