The Attic

Chapter Twenty Two

What is he doing here? What does he want from us? Why does he have to come back? All these thoughts kept battling in my head the few seconds I used to process if it's really my dad sitting on my kitchen chair, next to my mom and Chloe.

  "Mom, what's going on here?" I asked my mom with my raspy voice, trying hard not to let the tears that are threatening to fall win.

  "Come over here darling..."

  "No! I WANT TO KNOW WHY HE'S HERE? WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM US AFTER THROWING AWAY OUR FAMILY LOVE AND TEARING US APART? WHAT IS HE LOOKING FOR NOW WITH US? HE THINKS HE CAN JUST WALK BACK INTO OUR LIVES LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED?" I lost it. I was tired. "Just go away..." I said with tears finally streaming down my face and running upstairs.

He hasn't changed at all. Still the same old dad I knew. It was like he left just yesterday. No, I can't handle this. We were doing better without him, at least thanks to our anonymous helper. We don't need him, we don't want him back in our lives, we...

I throw myself on my bed sobbing so hard. Then why am I feeling this happiness that he's back. Why is there this little joy tugging at the bottom of my heart that my dad is back. Maybe if I sleep, all these feelings will disappear. I didn't know when I fell asleep with dry tears on my face.

I awoke later by 7:30pm and was feeling hungry as hell. But eating now means going out of my room, and going out of my room means running into my dad. Just then my bedroom door open to reveal Chloe with a tray of delicious food.

  "Hey", she smiled at me.

  "Hi.." I sat up on the bed rubbing my head that was starting to ache

  "Headache?"

  "Yeah sort of"

  "I'll get you some drugs later on just eat up first."

  "Alright". I said collecting the tray from her and placing it on my laps.

  "God, you look like shit. Have you been crying?"

  "Eh", I looked up at her and nodded. Sure I don't look my best right now with the dried tears on my face, my red and puffy eyes...but I don't care. "Doesn't this bother you? why are you acting so calm about this?"

  "Well, when he came in at first, I hit his chest countless times screaming also. He just stood there taking it all. I felt hurt and betrayed and I just acted on instinct. That was until he explained certain things and I almost felt guilty for acting that way"

  "What did he say to you? Especially to make you want to feel guilty?"

She paused for a while, "I think it's best if he tells you himself"

  "I don't think I'm ready to talk to him yet. I don't think I'll ever be ready". I looked down at my food.

  "Just give him the chance at least to explain things better. You've always wanted to know why he left right? now is the time to get your answers. And guess what?"

  "What?"

  "I don't think he's ever leaving again". And with that she left my room leaving me to my thoughts once again.

I had to manage and finish my food because I lost my appetite when Chloe said I'd have to give my dad a chance. Will I really be able to do it? ugh! what am I saying? I am more than this. I have overcome all this. I promised myself to face any proem head on and never to back down. I can do this. I kept saying this as I went downstairs and spotted my dad still sitting where I left him, staring into outer space. With teary eyes, looking so torn and broken. I just felt like running to hug him and tell him that everything is fine but I knew it's not gonna work that way.