Tracob: Senior Year

28

Unfortunately, for Jacob, he couldn't get himself to offer the same level of trust to Troye, that Troye so graciously gave to him. Maybe it was the words of his mother and sister that got to him, or maybe it was things in their past, regardless, Jacob found himself in quite the situation.

It happened a couple days later after a long day at work. Jacob had spent the entire day trying to avoid Kenny and plastering on a fake smile when avoiding his ex wasn't possible. Needless to say, he was tired and cranky, before it was even three in the afternoon. Against his better judgement, Jacob called Troye, while on his way home, and agreed to make a detour to stop by his boyfriend's promotional shoot. Really he was tired. He should have just told Troye to stop by later. But, Troye sounded so excited to see him and he figured he owed it to his boy.

Jacob groaned as he found himself walking past all the stylists and techs. He started to remember everything he loathed from his time as a model and he was so glad to have left this all behind. He was immediately pulled from his thoughts, however, as he approached a brightly lit set up that had his boyfriend perched at the end of a fancy lounger apparently draped in nothing but a sheet. Jacob watched as, who he assumed was the photography director, move over and rearrange the way the fabric draped around his boy. He cringed as he caught a glimpse of a portion of his boy's ass, especially when the director touched Troye to put on some sort of adhesive which would keep any of the boys most intimate areas from being shown in the photo.

'Yep', Jacob thought taking a deep breath, he absolutely hated all of this. He tried to focus on Troye's face at that point. Troye looked so vested in what the director was telling him to do. It was obvious that he took his job quite seriously. The photographer took a few shots of Troye and then gestured to another boy who was standing around half naked. Jacob's jaw tightened as the man approached his boy. He knelt close to Troye, placed his hand on Troye's side and then looked back at the photographer.

"Move in closer," the director instructed.

"Gladly," the man smiled.

Troye bit his lip and adjusted his own posture a bit as well.

The director nodded and the photographer evaluated the set up on his viewer. After giving his approval, the photographer took a couple shots. Jacob couldn't help but hate the way Troye leaned in to the other model, how his boy looked so comfortable with everything. It just tore him up so much. And then...the director moved in, gently tilted Troye's head slightly and guided the model to press his face, more like his lips, into Troye's neck. With that, Jacob decided he had seen enough. Without thinking twice, he spun around, walked briskly out of the building and didn't stop until he was climbing into his car. Jacob groaned and gripped the steering wheel of his car tightly. "I can't do this," Jacob lamented. He then turned the key in his ignition, put the car in drive, and got himself out of there.

Jacob headed back to his apartment, switched into comfier clothes and collapsed onto his couch. About an hour later his phone was ringing, he sighed when he saw it was Troye. Jacob then swiped the bar to answer the call.

"Ya?" Jacob said.

"Hey baby, I thought you were coming by the shoot?" Troye gleefully responded.

"It's not my scene," Jacob answered.

"Oh," Troye said obviously taken aback, "no worries. Can I just come by your place now?"

Jacob took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He couldn't help but to picture Troye with the model. Finally he replied, "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Oh?" Troye said this time in question.

"Ya, look. I'm just going to be honest with you. You're a great guy, Troye..."

"What?" Troye gasped, "Jacob, are you breaking up with me?" His voice broke as he finished the sentence.

"I think I made a mistake," Jacob frowned, "I...we are just too different, Troye. I can't do all this music and Hollywood glam stuff. It's all bullshit."

"Bullshit?" Troye scoffed, "it's my career."

"Right and well as you know I've been through it all as well and I walked away from it for a reason, I just can't let you lead me back down that path."

"I don't understand," Troye nearly whimpered out.

"Right- I know you weren't always the brightest crayon in the box," Jacob said getting annoyed, "but, basically- I just want a private life with a family for myself, not to share with the world."

"I...but...you said you loved me," Troye replied.

"I know. And I'm sorry, like I said- You're amazing, Troye, but you aren't for me. I can't trust you...your lifestyle."

"You can't trust my lifestyle? What the hell does that...oh, so Angie and the rest of your family are getting their way with this?"

"No. You can't blame this on them, Troye. I make my own decisions for me. This is you. It's just who you are and I was stupid in thinking I could be part of it, but I can't. You're not the one for me. I'm sorry."

Jacob chewed on his lip as he was met with silence. After about a minute he spoke up again, "Troye?"

"Please tell me this is just a fucked up joke," Troye choked out.

"I'm sorry, but it's not."

"Fuck," Troye sniffled, "15 fucking years later and here I am, allowing you to break my heart again."

"Troye, chill- it's been what, a couple weeks since we got reacquainted? Not even that."

"I'm such a fucking idiot," Troye cried.

"No- I wouldn't say that. You're just not right for me and it's better this happen now than like 2 years from now."

Once again Jacob was met with no spoken words, this time the call was accompanied by soft cries.

"Where are you?" Jacob sighed.

"Why?" Troye sniffled out.

"Just because we can't be together, doesn't mean I don't care. I just want to make sure you will be getting home safely."

"Lucky for you, I'm not your problem anymore," Troye replied and before Jacob could say anything else, the call ended.

Jacob let out a shaky breath and felt a tear run down his face. He then groaned. This was inevitable- it had to happen, of course it still sucked, but the fact that it felt this badly annoyed Jacob. It also annoyed him thinking about how happy his family would be and once Jacob pushed the feelings of annoyance out of his mind he realized that ultimately he just felt really, really fucking sad, even though he knew it was for the best. No one ever said doing the right thing was easy.