Tracob: Senior Year

10

Jacob pulled up to Troye's place at 7:00. He went to the door and rang the bell. Troye was quick to answer. "Hey!" Troye smiled. He stood on his toes and pecked Jacob on the cheek. "Want to come in...or?"

"I better not, otherwise I'm not convinced you'll agree to leave," Jacob said with a smirk. Troye rolled his eyes, "Whatever, Bix." Troye turned around and went to grab his phone and wallet. He walked pass, Jacob and pulled the door close. Jacob shook his head and wrapped an arm around Troye's waist and pulled Troye against him. "Drop the 'tude," he said.

Troye scoffed, "What 'tude?"

"Seriously, Troye. I want to take you out, not your bitchy, I can't let anyone get close to me fake persona."

Troye turned to face Jacob. "What makes you think there is more to me than this?"

"Maybe it was the way you snuggled up close to me in the auditorium this morning after, well everything," Jacob softly placed a hand on Troye's waist. "Maybe it's the way you stood up to Eric this afternoon." His other hand cupped the side of Troye's face gently. "But, I think it was even before that. I think that once I saw how sweetly you interacted with my sister, that I knew there was much more to you than being a bitchy, sexy, pop star."

Troye's eyes fell to the ground, "Well, prepare to be disappointed, Jacob," he said sadly.

"I'm prepared to prove you wrong," Jacob answered as he ushered Troye to his car.

About 10 minutes later, the boys pulled up to a little Italian restaurant. Jacob quickly rushed out of the car and opened Troye's door. He reached a hand out to Troye, who grabbed it with a smile as he stepped out of the car. "Gosh, Jacob. No need to be like that. I totally already plan on inviting you back to my place once we are done." Jacob sighed, wishing that Troye would stop trying to divert Jacob's attention elsewhere.

Jacob and Troye were seated in a dimly lit corner of the restaurant. Troye looked around with a smile, "This is really cute, Jake. This where you bring all your girlfriends?"

"Actually, I've never been here before," Jacob responded, "And I haven't had a bunch of girlfriends, pretty much just saw Alivia off and on for the past three years."

"Wow- that's quite a bit of time."

"It was never anything serious, just someone to spend time with," Jacob answered. "What about you though, Troye, let's talk about Connor."

"Holy fuck, do you know how to kill a mood," Troye stated.

Jacob shrugged, "I'm not trying to be an ass, I'm just trying to understand you."

Troye sighed, "Con and I were together for probably like two years. I mean some of that was unofficial as I was only 16 and in Australia and he was 19 and in California, but like it was definitely a thing and when we saw each other," Troye paused, "Ya, it was definitely a thing."

"Wow- that's quite a bit of time," Jacob said echoing Troye's words from earlier.

"Ya, I was in love with him. At least, I thought I was. I can't say I really know what love is now and if it even actually exists. I mean if I am being completely honest, sometimes I think I even still love him."

"Oh," Jacob responded. Troye looked up to meet Jacob's eyes, but then quickly dropped them back down to his fingers.

"Anyways, shortly before I started school with you, Con and I broke up. Well, I broke up with Con. Honestly, I don't think I meant it. I was just so pissed off at him because I was planning for my album and my tour and he was being such a bitch about everything. He said I didn't love him as I was planning on traveling and missing all this time with him and yet I invited him to come, but he said he would be too busy. Then I had to spend a few weekends away tweaking my songs and he accused me of cheating every time I went away. I started to call and facetime him every hour so that he could see where I was and who I was with- and that still wasn't enough. When I would come home, we would spew 'I love yous' and 'I missed yous' at each other, but then we would like have sex and he would look for anything to prove that I had been fucking someone else. If i had a bruise from running into a table, as I am rather clumsy, he would think it was a lovebite. If I touched myself and opened myself up the day before I got home, he would want to know who I had been with as I should be tighter, hell using my vibrator was definitely something I couldn't do because then he'd think I fucked someone else mere hours before coming home to him. Oh god and then when I had a cold and my voice got raspy, he was absolutely certain it was really because I was deep throating someone else. I would tell him that none of it was true and he would get so upset and he would cry and his depression would get so bad and I felt so damn powerless. I had to watch my every move, consider my every word, hell, I had to be careful about how I dressed because I didn't want him to think I was drawing any unnecesary attention to myself. And it hurt SO bad because I loved him so deeply and yet I felt as if I couldn't even breathe around him. The day we broke up," Troye's voice shook, "We were both sobbing. I told him how much I loved him, but that I felt like I was losing my fucking mind worrying about the fact that he didn't trust me. He begged me not to leave him. He told me he would change. He promised that he would get better. But, really what he needed was some actual counseling. That night, he cut himself and he called me and I got there as fast as I could. The ambulance got there first of course as did his friends and they refused to let me see him. They said it was all my fault and that I was nothing but a worthless whore. They said I was a disgusting slut and that I didn't deserve to be loved if I could hurt someone so badly." Troye stared straight ahead as if he was reliving the moment in his mind.