War Guilt [#Wattys2015]

Chapter Seventeen

Just so you all know, there is a difference between Maria and Nova!

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Location Unknown, Germany, 1944

Nova

Schmidt constantly reminded me of my mission; take down the US Army. I didn't think twice about what he told me to do, I just did it.

He drove me to a spot not too far away from the US Army Base. Taking one last look at him, I nodded and hopped out of the truck and got a move on. He drove away quickly, never to be seen by me again. Well, not until my mission was finished. Without thought, I began to walk in the direction of the base. I kept a steady pace the whole way then slowed down as I saw the entrance boom gates. Quickly, I ducked behind a large pine tree. Before I went in there I had to make it look like I had just escaped the grasp of Hydra. I ripped at the already present tears in my clothes, ruffled up my hair and wiped some dirt on my face. Then I hopped up and staggers towards the gate.

"Hold it right there!" The guard yelled at me.

I stopped and hung my head low to make it look like I was exhausted. He came over to me suspiciously and lifted my head up with his hand.

"My god, you're alive!" He exclaimed. His reaction was somewhat confusing to me.

Why would he care if I'm alive?

I forced a grin before letting my head hang low again. My act was believable and he took me into the camp. Men crowded me saying things like; "Thank god you ok!" and "we all thought you were dead!" while I staggered to the infirmary.

The guard sat me down on a hospital bed then left me with the nurses. They checked my vitals and gave me the all clear, telling me that I just needed to rest for a few days.

I won't be here in a few days, I'll be leading you all back to Hydra.

At the thought of Hydra a suddenly remembered what Schmidt told me:

"You have a week to get them back here, if you don't you will be punished... Remember the gifts we gave you, now pay you debt for the good of them world..."

I shuddered slightly at the thought of what they would do to me if I didn't finish my mission in the given time. Still, it didn't change my perception on them. They were the good guys, trying to help the world.

I was brought out of my thoughts when someone suddenly picked me up into I think was a hug...

"Maria you alive!" He yelled as he held me in his strong arms.

Maria?

Schmidt had told me to go along with whatever they said or did. I needed to gain their trust otherwise the whole mission would be a fail and I would be punished for it.

"Yeah, I'm alive," I said unsurely.

He stopped squeezing me and looked into my eyes. I felt uncomfortable and he knew it.

"What happened to you?" He asked.

I wasn't sure what to tell him. That I was experimented on? I have deadly powers that I am going to use on people who get suspicious or don't cooperate? That Hydra are the good guys who did this for me?

"I don't remember.." I said to him in a quite tone.

He was still looking directly into my eyes as if he was searching for something. He was searching so hard that I honestly thought that he would be able to see into my mind.

"You don't remember me, do you?" He asked.

At that point I returned the deep stare into his eyes. I couldn't tell you what I was looking for but something about him made me think of the name Ryan.

"Of course I remember you, Ryan," I replied with a sweet smile.

His eyes illuminated at the sound of me saying his name and he pulled me back into a large hug. I returned the hug softly, secretly hoping that it wouldn't last much longer. In truth, I had no bloody idea who he was, I just went along with it. Like Schmidt told me too.

He finally let and sat down next to me. He started to tell me about why he was here and how he survived. Obviously he just assumed that I'd like to hear it.

"They brought me back here when they found out that your unit was captured. 400 men they said. Obviously they forgot one important woman," he said with a wink, nudging me in the ribs. "It was such a long time before Steve and the others marched back into camp. I spent hours looking for you, but I never found you..."

What is he talking about?

"Eventually, Sergeant Barnes approached me. I asked him where you were and he just had a look of complete heartbreak in his eyes. That's when I knew you weren't coming back." A tear fell down his cheek but be didn't cry.

Schmidt told me I was a captive of theirs. What the hell is going on?

I suddenly did something that I forgot I was capable of. I comforted him. I had no idea why or how I did it, I just...did. He leaned his head into my shoulder and I tensed a little but then relaxed into it. The warmth between us calmed me and I suddenly found it hard to comprehend what I had to do to them.

"You have a week to get them back here, if you don't you will be punished..."

I snapped out of the moment and moved a little so Ryan would get off me. Schmidt's voice still echoing in my ears. I looked at Ryan awkwardly before he planted a kiss on my forehead and left the infirmary. I watched him walk out. He turned and looked back once, winking at me as he went. I couldn't help but smile.

I'm so confused.

I was about to lay down so the nurse wouldn't lecture me about the rest I needed when I saw something sitting in my bed. I stared at it for a while before actually picking it up. I was a piece of paper; a letter. I opened it slowly and saw that it was a Condolence Letter saying that I had been killed in action. It wasn't addressed to anyone and I don't know why. I was also confused about how Ryan had gotten it. Paper-clipped to the bottom righthand corned was a photograph...of me. I was standing at the front of the camp with a group of men, my unit I presumed.

"What is going on?" I said aloud to myself.

At that point, absolutely nothing made sense to me. All the things that Schmidt had told me about being the US Army's captive and Hydra being the good guys, my supposed life that I don't remember and then this letter. Why did they think I was dead? If I was a captive, why did I help the US Army invade the Hydra base. I didn't know what to do. I knew I had to finish my mission because I would be punished - but I couldn't help but feel like I was doing the wrong thing. Oh, why couldn't I remember anything!?

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Ryan

When I looked in her eyes to see if she was there, I saw nothing - just empty space with a bit of pain and loss on the edging. Then she said she remembered me and that thought soon disappeared...for a little while anyway. She wasn't the same person. I didn't know if the old Maria was still there and whether or not I would get her back. I was just grateful that she was alive.

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My mind is blank as I search through memories that no longer exist.
My eyes wonder as I look for things that are familiar, but I see nothing.
I don't know why I am like this, or why I was made to be this person.
But I must complete my mission, because he said that if I didn't, I would be punished...