War Guilt [#Wattys2015]

Chapter Four

US Army Training Camp, 1942

Maria

The next day was a hot day, all the men stank and constantly attempted to rub their sweat on me. I had become quite close with my little troop, other than Hodge.

I hauled myself up the huge cargo net, trying as hard as I could to beat the others. They'd come to respect me now because of my abilities. Countless times I'd beaten them in hand-to-hand combat, weapon use and other exercises. I grabbed the top rail and hoisted myself up on it, looking down to check where my closest mate was, Ryan Feld. He'd been quite close to me since the start, standing up for me and so on. He was almost at the top when I noticed that Steve wasn't there.

"Where's Steve?" I asked Ryan as he hauled himself up next to me.

He wiped the beading sweat off his forehead with his arm and took a deep, well-needed breath.

"I wouldn't have a clue," he replied. Even though I was close with most of the men in the troop, none of them seemed to like Steve, I was the only one.

"Feld! Brown! Move your asses before I come up their and move them for you!" Our leader yelled at us.

The cargo net we were on was about 4 meters in the air, supported by wooden beams. I swung myself around so that I was facing the un-netted side, my legs swinging off the edge. I took a deep breath and pushed myself off, landing and rolling to take the pressure off my knees.

"Hey! Wait up ninja!" Ryan yelled at me.

I turned around so I could see his attempt. He swung his legs around and pushed himself off in one swift motion but didn't land correctly. I watched as he fell into a heap on the ground, wailing in pain. I was hysterical as I walked over to him to help him up.

"Don't laugh!" Was all he said to me.

We brushed the dirt and dust off ourselves when I felt someone tapping on my shoulder. I turned around to see who it was. A woman was standing behind me, wiping herself free of dust that came off me and Ryan.

Princess.

"Ms Brown," she started "I have been asked to tell you that you will be shipped out tomorrow to Germany to serve with the 107th."

"What?" I replied, shocked.

"They need a spy to help them invade a Hydra base in Germany and Colonel Phillips suggested they have you." She explained.

My eyes were wide with shock. I was leaving already and not even with my own troop. I were to be shipped out and serve with a battalion that were already there and accompanied with each other.

"Can I refuse?" I asked her.

"I'm afraid not. You will be collected by an agent tomorrow to take you to the docks so be ready." She answered. She was about to turn around and walk off when she added something else. "Oh, and one more thing; they think that you are a man so you are going to have to cut your hair short. There is an info pack on you bed."

She simply walked off once she had delivered her message, leaving me to comprehend the situation by myself. I turned around, still in shock and saw Ryan. He looked sad, you could see it in his eyes.

"Well," he started "this was unexpected, hey?"

The other men in the troop came over to hear the gossip. Ryan explained to them what was happening. They all patted me on the shoulder before getting on with the exercises. The leader came over to me and told me to go and get ready for the next day.

"Yes, sir."

I walked back to my bunker by myself. Ryan was going to come with me but he had to continue with the training. I then began wondering where Steve was, wishing that I could tell him what was happening. That's when I realised that I would probably never see my friends again and the reality of war started to set in.

This is actually happening...

A tear started to make it's way down my cheek and I willed myself not to cry. I knew I could to what I was being asked to do. I kept telling myself that I was going to make it home and see all my friends again.

I made it to my bunker and walked over to my bed. Sure enough, there was a brown package sitting there waiting for me. I sat down and held it in my hand before opening it. A bundle of paper was inside, along with some chest wraps (to make it look like I didn't have breasts), fake facial hair, hair dye and a pair of dog tags. I grabbed the dog tags and read them out loud.

"Private William Jackson."

I hated that name, not only because it wasn't mine but also because I just really didn't like it.

I skimmed through the pages of information regarding Hydra and my mission. Hydra was a scientific section of the Nazis, led my a man named Johann Schimdt in association with Arnim Zola. They believed strongly in freedom controlled by power and, of course, wanted to rule the world. My mission was to get inside information on a secret base in Germany so that the 107th could invade it and hopefully pull down the head of Hydra.

I still couldn't quite comprehend that I was going on front line without my troop. To be honest, it scared me, more than anything before. I grabbed the hair dye and went into the showering complex to dye my hair. They'd given me a permanent black colour.

Why do I even have to dye my hair?

I stood in front of the mirror and soaked my hair under the tap. I wrung it out a bit and then put the dye through it, letting it sit for a while before washing it out. I looked at myself after I'd finished, it was a completely different person.

Once my hair was dry I grabbed a pair of scissors that I'd brought with me and took them back to the showering complex. I stood in front of the mirror again to suss out how much hair I'd be cutting off. My hair at that moment was just past my shoulders. I'd actually had it cut before I joined the army. I grabbed a whole length of my hair and cut it a few centimetres from my head, letting the hair drop to the ground and continuing on with the rest of my hair. The person I could see in the mirror was not me and it would take me a long time to get used to that image.

I ruffled my hair to get rid of any lose hair, picked up the hair on the ground and put it in the bin then walked back to my bunker to pack my belongings.

This is actually happening...