I Remember Us ~ ashton irwin

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7th July, 2014 12:05 AM

For some reason; I just could not fall asleep and I had no idea why. I was sitting up in bed and my back was against the wall as I just looked around our bedroom. I wanted to turn on my night light so I could probably read but Adria was asleep and even the slightest movement woke her up and that was the last thing I wanted to do.

On nights like these; when I couldn't sleep, I tried to figure out how I had gotten so lucky. I kept replaying what Adria had told me earlier over and over in my head. If you had told me three years ago I would be in bed with the most amazing girl ever, a short five minutes after I turned twenty-five, I would have probably laughed in your face.

I may not have the ideal job but for once in my life everything was finally going according to plan and there were no painful surprises waiting for me. For once my track record of a shitty life was not living up to standards because everything right now was simply perfect.

So why was I still having a hard time silencing the army of voices that were in my head?

Why couldn't I shake the feeling of my life was going to come to a screeching halt before I got to do what I really wanted to?

The reason why all of this was still bothering me was because I had no idea what I really wanted to do with my life. I mean; there were certain areas of my life that I had figured out but there were still a bunch of question marks that I still needed to figure out and the fact that I was not getting any younger was getting me paranoid.

I was almost thirty... well, I was five years being away from being thirty and I still didn't have my dream job. I didn't even know what my dream job was. All I knew was that I was not willing to wait tables for the rest of my life. I knew there was something greater out there for me and I was flipping my shit because I was not able to find it.

"If you want to change the world Ashton; then by all means, go do it. If you have to quit your job to do that, if you want us to pack our bags and move. Whatever it is that you feel you need to do so you can feel like you've made a decent change, go do it Ashton. I want you to know that I'm going to support you in whatever you do. I am 100% prepared to pack my bags and follow you around the world because you are my world and I would like to be right my your side as you try to do whatever it is that makes you happy."

As if on cue, Adria's voice popped in my head and I smiled when I remembered what she had said to me earlier. Maybe I was looking for myself in all the wrong places; she did have a point though. I won't change anything if I just sat on my ass and complained about being scared of oblivion. I needed to move, I needed to change a few things if I was ever going to get what I wanted.

This was why I loved that woman so much. She had no idea but she always says exactly what I need to hear the moment I need to hear it. She told me that I changed her life but I think that was only possible because she changed me.

I had to admit; at first I was just sexually attracted to her. She was a good looking woman and the guy in me stood up when I saw the way her legs looked in her jeans. The first time I saw the tattoo on her ankle my head started to spin. Until we actually started dating I was just physically attracted to her. She was a closed book which only made me that more desperate to figure her out. I also wanted to prove my friends wrong because they all seemed to think that I wouldn't have been able to handle a girl like Adria.

After the first few dates I found myself being attracted to her in every single way imaginable; I attracted to her sexually, physically, emotionally, mentally and yes, I was attracted to her spiritually. I couldn't explain just how she managed to do that but I wasn't going to ask any questions.

Every single moment I spent with her was one that I'd hold on to and cherish forever. I still remember how she looked on our first date when I told her I won't care if she needed to take her shoes off. I remembered how her fingers pulled on my hair the first time we kissed. It was that night when I finally accepted that I was completely at her mercy. I remembered every single time we got in an argument and she stormed out. I remember how pissed I used to get every time she went to Michael but the more I thought about it; the happier I was because Michael always convinced her to come back.

No matter how annoying she got or how many times we argued; I loved every second of the time I shared with Adria and I would not change it for the world. I remember the first time I told her that I was in love with her; it was the night he turned twenty-three and she had surprised me with my very own drum set and to say I was happy was an understatement. Truth was; I'd wanted to say that to her for weeks before that but I was just too scared. The excitement and alcohol made me blurt it out. 

I remember the pregnancy scare we had a few months ago. I hid the fact that I really, really had wanted her to be pregnant. I had to put on a poker face and pretend I wasn't entirely bothered by it. She saw right past my bullshit though and she'd started crying because she felt that she'd let me down in some way. She didn't realize that there was nothing she could do that would ever let me down. I was completely at her mercy.

I reached over and pulled out the velvet box that held the ring I'd gotten a month ago. I opened the box for the fiftieth time to make sure the ring was still there. I couldn't believe that in a few hours I was going to ask her to marry me.

Next year, this time she was going to be Adria Irwin.

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does that even look like? dont bother..

lucas hemmings your damn vocals still has my breathing uneven. 

i started a calum story please give it a read... its called hazard and i also started posting the luke spin off to the calum one. 

also fivesauceoption has some pretty badass stories on her profile. she just started the cutest luke story you could ever read in your life so go do that. 

also Alizey5SOS has some pretty badass stuff too. her comments make my day and she's the sweetest. i have one more chapter and it will murder you.