Blue and grey || ʏᴏᴏɴsᴇᴏᴋ✓

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⏸️ Play - Blue and Grey [Bts]

Third person's pov

As the soft pitter patter of the rain was heard inside, Hoseok sat by the window sil. His knees hugged to his chest, tightly. The platinum band of his wedding ring lying on his fingers heavily, a lump more heavier in his throat.

He leaned his back on the wall, watching the rain fall down slowly. The rain clouds making the outer world look dark, but his life even more darker.

The round clock hanging on the wall read 11.20 pm, it was getting late, the food laid out on the dining table would've got cold by now, just like how he was feeling--no warmth.

His eyes lingered outside the window, the rusty gates his vision's focus.

He knows, it's a waste of time to wait for his husband.

He knows, that his husband would be with someone else at the moment--holding them in his warm embrace, kissing them softly, just like how Hoseok liked it. And it made Hoseok feel uneasy, maybe jealous? But, more than that, he felt sad. What did he do to not deserve his husband's love?

Heaving a heavy sigh, Hoseok turned around. Taking his phone from the nightstand nearby, he texted his husband.

'Will you be home tonight?'

Home.

That word felt so foreign to him.

Home. It was a place he once had, so long ago. Now? It's just a place he uses for shelter that doesn't really keep him warm.

He didn't get a reply. So, he abandoned his phone back on the old wooden nightstand.

Another sigh left his pink lips. He lost count of how many times he has sighed already. Just like every other day, he walked to the dining room after staring into nothingness for a while. He wrapped plastic covers over the food--which was left untouched--and put it in the refrigerator.

His stomach growled loudly, indicating his hunger. But, he didn't even feel like eating. The thought itself made him want to puke. Thoughts of eating. Eating. Alone.

Alone.

Switching all the lights off, he strode back to his and his husband's shared room, plopping himself onto his side of the bed. The other side, his husband's side, as neat as ever, because when did he even come back home to have his side of the bed used.

"I miss you," Hoseok muttered softly--his voice cracking slightly as he didn't talk the whole evening--maybe a little gruff too. Drinking water would do, but Hoseok didn't seem to have the strength to go get some water.

He was tired.

"I miss you, mom,"

Tears slowly streamed down his temple as he fixed his gaze on the ceiling, his frame spread on the bed like a starfish.

"I think this was a bad decision," he continued, just like every other night.

This was his routine for the past seven and a half months. Wait for his husband, though he knew the elder wouldn't return. Skip dinner for most of the days, because he despised eating alone. Cry himself to sleep or take those pills his doctor suggested. He often wished he was courageous enough to take an extra dosage of his pills. And sleep well.

Sleep forever.

Speaking of pills, Hoseok remembered that he didn't take his medicines for the past week. But, he could care less about it. He doesn't like how those pills affect him. How those pills make him so numb to everything.