Blue and grey || ʏᴏᴏɴsᴇᴏᴋ✓

::20::

⏸️ Play - My old story [IU]

--7 months later--

Yoongi's pov

Today's very beautiful. It rained a lot and the plants you planted months ago are lively. It looks very beautiful. But, watching it from this window makes me feel very lonely.

And it makes me want to cry.

Lately, I've been feeling a lot of emotions and most of them are very confusing. It's really a mess, Seok.

Oh, also, I got your diary from Jimin.

And I keep wondering.

Why?

Why me, Seok? Of all people why was it me? And, why did you never tell me?

You thought I'd hate you more, right?

Thought I'd hurt you?

Maybe, yes. You do know me better than anyone else, so if that's who you saw me as, then that'd be very true.

I'm sorry, as well. I don't know if it's me or the guilt wanting to say this, but I'm very sorry, Hoba. Sorry for thinking low of you. It's funny how I believed your lies and those rumors than what I knew for years.

I was just an immature high school boy back then. My insecurities got the best of me and I regret it. I should've known, you were nowhere near money greedy.

I watched you. Watched you grow and work hard for everything. How did I even believe that?

I'm still questioning myself for that.

There are a lot of things I am sorry for, so just let me continue.

It was wrong of me to have dated Jungkook. I was wrong, I'm sorry. But, saying sorry won't changing anything now, right?

And, there's another thing that confuses me so much and makes me curious. How come you're not mad at anyone? Not the least bit of hatred, how do you do that?

I wish I was like that.

Everyone were blaming themselves for what had happened to you. And Jungkook is not in his good state, either. The most affected person.

But in reality it was all me, wasn't it?

If I hadn't believed your lie that day, we would've been different. You could've confessed to me, maybe I could've fell in love with you. Or we could've avoided this marriage ordeal. Maybe things would've been different.

But now? All I have is the maybes with me.

If I could go back in time, I'd like to change a lot of things. I would've tried to become a better person. Someone you could rely on. Someone that didn't hurt you. Someone that is not me.

I lent your last note from your diary to the others.

Jungkook and Taehyung cried so much that day. Jungkook was glad that you didn't hate him, but Taehyung... I don't know how he took it.

That was very...

I don't know how to express what I'm feeling.

Mostly I'm out of words.

But I'll write this for you, even if it's a mess of the words I know. I want to let you know.

Mom and dad are very sad, so I sent them to a world trip, to take their minds off things.