Diary (Vkook, Old Version)

February 11th, 2015

Dear Diary,
Today I was woken up by my cousin. It was only five am, when she decided to shake me awake. She looked excited, when I finally opened my eyes. I was tired, but I got up anyways. She quickly left my room, leaving me there. Rubbing my eyes, I got out of my bed. After I had changed into my school uniform, I went to the bathroom to wash my face, clean my teeth and comb my hair. After I'd done that, I went to the kitchen, to find my cousin making breakfast. I smiled, still very tired. It was 5:30 am, when breakfast was ready. I ate a bit, not saying a word. Until my cousin, whose name is Nari by the way, decided to break the silence by telling me that I looked horrible. I fake-smiled, and thanked her with a sarcastic sound in my voice. She laughed, but then got serious again. She asked me why I looked like this, to which I just shook my head, saying that I had no idea.
After we were done with eating breakfast, I talked a bit with her. When it was time to go, she told me to get in her car, that she'll drive me to school. I was grateful for that, I really didn't want to walk to school then. So I did as I was told and sat in her car. The drive was only 5 - 10 minutes long, so I had to get out again, short after. I told Nari bye, before leaving the car. I closed the door and walked towards the school building, after sighing. There were a lot of people outside the building, talking, enjoying their lives and probably love, as well. Suddenly, I wondered, what exactly would those people think of me if they knew I'm gay? They probably wouldn't accept it, that's for sure. Heck, maybe I'd even be bullied, I heard that happens to some people. I shook my head, to get rid of those thoughts and walked quicker, opened the door and entered the building. I sighed once again, when the bell rang. I slowly walked to my classroom, not caring if I was gonna be late. I knocked on the door, which my teacher opened. He didn't seem to be angry, since he was smiling at me? He pulled me inside, told me to sit down. Kind of confused, I did as I was told and sat down. I asked the person next to me, what was up with my teacher, but she just shrugged. I concentrated back to my teacher, who just looked at the class, excitedly. I then found out why he was so excited. He pulled a stranger in the room, smiling widely. The stranger was a good-looking guy, actually. He didn't look interested in anything whatsoever, so the teacher had some trouble, trying to get him to introduce himself. The guy shrugged, and finally gave in to the teacher. His name was Mitsuru and he's from Japan. Okay, that seemed to be interesting. He was seated next to me. Great. Obviously, I tried starting a conversation by telling him my name, but he didn't even look at me! Rude.
When the bell rang, signaling the start of lunch break, he just quietly got up and walked away. Weird. But I didn't bother. It was his thing what he was gonna do, so I just walked to Taehyung's classroom. But to my surprise, Mitsuru did the same thing. And not just that, when he arrived there, he asked some people if Taehyung was in there. I was kind of confused, and I wanted to know what was going on, so I didn't do anything, I just stood right next to Mitsuru. I mean, that's not weird. Even if I didn't want to wait for Taehyung, I'd have to wait for Jimin anyways, so who cares. I looked down, and down, until I heard the deep familiar voice call out my name. I quickly looked up, seeing Taehyung's usual, beautiful smile plastered on his face. I smiled, but before I could say anything, Mitsuru had already called out for Taehyung. Well, not exactly, he called him 'Tae'. I was surprised when I heard the nickname, and also even more confused than before. Taehyung seemed to be confused as well, though. Mitsuru looked disappointed, said his name, which gave Taehyung's mouth an o shape and made him widen his eyes. I looked at him confused, tugged on his shirt. What was this feeling again? Jealousy? Oh no, I definitely wasn't jealous of someone I've just met. But then again, he called Taehyung 'Tae', which I would never even dare to try, Taehyung seemed to be happy go see Mitsuru, seemed excited. Just that felt like a stab in my heart. I was on the verge of crying, still tugging on Taehyung's shirt, who still hadn't noticed it. Only when a soft sob escaped me, he flinched and quickly turned his head to me. Oh great. Why am I such a freaking crybaby? Now I interrupted Taehyung's conversation with Mitsuru. Taehyung's face was full of worry, his beautiful deep voice asking me what was wrong, why I was crying. But I just quickly wiped away my tears, saying that it was nothing, that I was fine. He probably didn't believe me, but gladly, he didn't ask any more questions. I quickly walked away to the cafeteria, where, as clumsy as I am, I tripped over absolutely nothing, and fell down on my knees and hands. Few were laughing at me, while others didn't give a shit. I didn't bother getting up, instead I sat down on the floor. I had already embarrassed myself, what would it matter if I embarrass myself even more, that's what I thought. Until the german student and his 'crew' came towards me. Oh great. Couldn't they just ignore me like everyone else? Ugh. The german student, his name is Dylan by the way, was laughing, while coming closer and closer to me. He stopped right in front of me, bent down and let out a "pft." I pouted kinda, asked him why he was laughing, even though it was obvious. He seemed surprised by my question, maybe he expected me to fear him? Ahah, no. I didn't give a shit if he was going to kill me right then, right there. I don't know what was up with me, but one thing I know, there's definitely something wrong with me.
But Dylan just laughed and walked away. I sighed, forcing myself to get up, when I saw Taehyung and Mitsuru enter the cafeteria. I sat down at one of the free tables, hoping they would maybe come over, and explain what was going on, since I'm Taehyung's best friend. Well, at least that's what I think. But no, they didn't even look in my direction. I felt my heart breaking, tears coming out of my eyes once again- No, no I wouldn't cry. I wiped the tears away and looked away from Taehyung and Mitsuru, until lunch break was over. I hadn't eaten a single thing since breakfast, but I didn't have any appetite either. I just quietly went back to class.

When the bell rang, signaling the end of class, I quickly made my way home. I didn't want to see a bunch of people, that's why I hurried. The bunch of people I'm talking about are Taehyung, Mitsuru, Dylan and Hana.
When I finally reached home and closed the door behind me, I realized I was going to be all alone all day. I leaned my back on the wall and just let myself fall down on my butt. I stayed like that for a few minutes, until I decided to go change into more comfortable clothes. I put on black sweatpants and a big grey t-shirt. I then went to the bathroom to wash my face. I remembered how Dylan laughed at me today, which also reminded me of the marn he had left on my neck. I quickly looked up, and sighed in relief, as the mark was already gone. I quickly washed my face and went back to the living room. Just when I was about to sit down on the sofa, the doorbell rang. Ahh, great. I walked over to the door and opened it, seeing Hye Mi in front of me. She was staring at me excitedly, while I was just looking at her, blankly. I hadn't said anything, when she ran into my living room and threw herself on the sofa, which I was supposed to sit on. I sighed and closed the door, before walking to Hye Mi. Of course I asked her why she was here, but also why she was so excited and happy. I mean, it's a good thing but I was just wondering why. Her reply was just a smirk. Wait, what? That's right. A freaking smirk. She then started acting innocent, humming to a song, acting like she had no reason. I raised an eyebrow at her, told her to stop that. Which she gladly did. But what she said next, shocked me. Right, remember, a few days ago, when Taehyung and Hye Mi were over, and I fucking kissed Taehyung? Yeah, she saw that. My eyes widened in shock, I was totally in panic. So I asked her if she had told Taehyung about it, since he had been asleep back then, but luckily she didn't. I calmed down a bit and asked her to please never tell him, which she promised to do. I smiled, Hye Mi's still the nice person she used to be. We then decided to watch a movie together, which made me forget about all the trouble from today.
Hye Mi left a while ago, at ten pm, so I decided to take a shower and then go to sleep. So I just changed into my pj's and wrote this. Good Night Diary,
Jungkook