trouble

26

billie
"hey love" i said to jayden when i saw her.

i haven't seen her in class at all today and that's fucking weird. at least she is here now with me.

"where have you been?" i asked her as she sat down next to me.

"not in class" jay answered me.

"well no duh" i chuckled. "where have you been though? you're skipping a lot"

"with friends" she shrugged while leaning her head on my shoulder.

which friends though... they were all in class

i let out a small 'oh'.

jays being hella weird right now. i'm starting to think she did something... i don't know.

"you're still down for today though?" i spoke up.

"mhm" she nodded her head.

"i cant wait" i smiled while wrapping my arms around her. "i love you"

"i love you too" jay told me and took my arms off of her. "i'm gonna go"

"where?" i furrowed my eyebrows together as i watched her get up.

"with sage" jayden said and left me alone at the table.

:(

it was too late for me to say something. she ended up walking away somewhere. i feel kinda sad now. i was happy to see her and she's being all dry and weird.

on thursday i saw that there was some event going on at a field where you light up a lantern and it flies up into the sky.

it's such a beautiful thing.

jayden told me she always wanted to do that ever since she saw 'tangled' so that's why i'm taking her to it.

the thing is going on later tonight and i can't wait to go with her. it's actually really pretty to experience. you just have to be there to see how it really is.

i went with some of my friends that i tolerate during lunch and stayed with them until the bell rang.

my actual friends, best friends actually, go to the school i used to go to. i miss them a lot and seeing them everyday. we would always fuck around and do stupid shit and get in trouble together.

they know about jay and the shit i've done to her. they're surprised she's still with me though.

drew was all like 'you're an asshole knowing she loves and you just do her like that' and then zoe said something similar to that. i didn't care at the time but now i do!

i stopped being a bitch. i stopped talking to lia and kristina. i stopped letting random bitches touch me. i stopped everything for jay, but she's being weird.

it hurts honestly.

knowing she's acting the way she is because of me probably. i feel so bad... i really do. i regret fucking her over many times.

now i'm the one getting fucked over!

jay barely hangs out with me. she barley tells me i love you back sometimes. she isn't as touchy with me anymore.

and i hate that! i hate she's not the same. it hurts. i have to literally force her to be with me. i whine and whine and whine until she agrees to stay the night or to at least spend a couple hours with me.

it really does hurt.

i cant imagine what she felt whenever i did the shit i did to her.

it's like she doesn't care anymore.