trouble

27

jayden
"should i stop?"

"stop what?" sage asked me.

"being a fucking bitch" i sighed. "i'm tired of acting like i don't care just to hurt her... i know i have already. it hurts me more though, i'm so fucking sure"

"what do you mean?"

"it hurts more to pretend" i made a sad face. "i wanna give billie all my love, hug and kiss her all the time. i don't wanna have to suppress that anymore"

"then do it" she shrugged. "it'll make you feel better right?"

"i guess yeah" i said. "i already hurt her enough don't you think?"

sage shrugged at me again.

i haven't seen billie since the night i bailed on her. i felt horrible! like i really wanted to go but these motherfuckers were telling me not to so she can feel some type of hurt.

i already got what i wanted... but i didn't want it to go that far. i feel so bad, i know she was hella excited that day and shit, i was too!

"sage" i spoke quietly. "can you leave?"

"yeah but why?" she sent me a puzzled look while she got up.

"i just wanna be alone" i sighed. "you haven't done anything i wanna be alone for today"

"alright" sage smiled. "see you later jay"

"bye" i said as i watched her leave my room.

me: come over

bil: why

me: please bil
come
i wanna talk

bil: ill be there in a few

i didn't actually wanna be alone. i want to talk to billie about all the shits that's been happening.

i went downstairs and fixed myself a fruit bowl while i waited for billie to arrive. just know, i love her so much okay? i love this girl a lot and i want to stop all this bullshit.

i gave lucky a strawberry because his annoying ass wouldn't stop staring at me. dogs are hella annoying.

a couple minutes later i hear my doorbell ring. i set my bowl down and walked over to open it. this door opens slow as fuck because of how big it is. it's annoying honestly.

"hi" i said shyly as billie came in.

"hey" she gave me a small smile. "what did you want to talk about?"

"um... just about everything in general" i sighed while grabbing her hand.

i watched her face drop a little.

i let go of it when we walked into my kitchen. i sat crisscross on top of the kitchen island while billie leaned against the counter in front of me.

"is it bad?" she asked me quietly, looking down at her feet.

"no?" i said. "i don't think it is..."

"you're not breaking up with me, right?" billie looked up at me with a sad expression.

i shook my head no while i popped a blueberry in my mouth.

"i'm sorry billie" i started. "i really am. i just wanted to hurt you the way you hurt me..."

"so you distance yourself from me and cancel out on almost everything?" she sent me a look.

"i think you forgot the fact that you cheated on me" i told her sternly. "i wanted you to feel hurt as much as i did"

"well you did make it work" billie mumbled. "you got what you wanted alright"

"i feel bad" i frowned. "i didn't want it to go that far... i'm sorry bil"

she shrugged in response.

"i wanna stop this" i said quietly while getting down from the kitchen island. "i don't wanna hurt each other anymore"

"me too" billie told me while looking at my eyes.

there's forever in those blue eyes of hers

i wrapped my arms around her neck and rested my head on her shoulder. "i love you bil, so fucking much. i'm done trying to hurt you. i wanna tell you i love you like i always did. i wanna hug and kiss you all the time to the point where you wanna strangle me"

she let out a small chuckle and kissed my cheek. it's been a while since i've felt her soft lips against my skin.

i missed her

"no more hurting each other?" billie looked at me.

"no more" i whispered and leaned in to connect our lips together. "god i missed you so much"

billie rocked us side to side while we hugged each other. i pulled away and grabbed her hand. we walked into my living room and cuddled on the couch.

i really missed this. i missed her a lot and i'm sure lucky did too. he's lying down on the floor by us.

"did you get new rings?" i asked billie as i grabbed her hand and looked at the jewelry on her fingers.

"oh uh- i got one for you" she said while taking one off. "i got us matching rings"

billie grabbed my hand and put it on my finger. it was a silver playboy bunny cut out. she showed me hers and she had the shape of it.

we watched some random youtube videos on the couch together. i had my arms wrapped around her waist and my head resting on her boobs while she had an arm draped around me.

billie got a text and she pulled her phone out. i saw that it was cracked really bad. the last time i saw it, it looked perfectly fine.

"what happened to your phone?" i asked her while looking at it.

"i threw it" she told me, placing her hand back on my side.

"why?"

"i was upset" billie chuckled. "don't worry about it though"

i saw that she got another message from someone, but i realized she still had us as her home screen.

i still had us too but that's cute.

she began texting them back and i couldn't help but read her messages. she was texting drew who was one of her friends.

i read that her friend sent a message saying 'what happened' and billie was typing how she's happy again and shit.

i tightened my arms around her and placed a kiss on her neck. "i'm sorry for being a bitch to you" i told her quietly.

"it's fine baby" billie said. "all that matters is that we're both here with each other right now... nothing in between us"

she squeezed me and kissed the top of my head. i looked at my hand to see the ring again.

"do you like it?" billie asked me as she noticed me staring at it.

"i love it" i smiled while i looked at her.

billie tilted my chin up with her knuckle. i looked into her eyes and gave her a small smile.

"why do you always poke my dimple" billie chuckled after i poked it.

"because i can" i giggled.

there's forever in those eyes of hers.

i can see it. i just hope it's true and i'm not seeing some bullshit right in front or me.

"i love you" billie smiled at me.

"i love you too" i blushed while pecking her lips.

back to my needy ass lol