𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐙𝐄𝐃 | 𝟏𝟖+

thirty-five; mixed feelings

R I C C A R D O

"But I crumble completely when you cry. It seems like once again you've had to greet me with "goodbye", I'm always just about to go and spoil a surprise, take my hands off of your eyes too soon."

. . .

My hands stroke her cheek and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Guilt eats me alive as I lay eyes upon her tear-stricken face.

I pour myself a glass of whisky and take a seat on the leather chair, focusing my gaze on the view outside the window before occasionally letting my eyes rest on the sleeping beauty.

There are three reasons why I gave in.

The first one; I had already cheated on Carla. Though I kept myself telling otherwise since I was afraid to face the guilt.

But Aurora didn't hesitate to help me see the truth.

Second; resisting Aurora seems impossible. I'm only human, and I tried putting up a fight that wasn't that impressionable, and yet I gave in.

I already had my fingers inside of her, felt her lips on mine, and knew what it was like to have her body pressed against mine.

Her always coming back and seducing me didn't help, asking for more...

I knew my morals and here I am, bending them to have a taste of divinity.

Third; she was standing in front of me wearing only a set of skimpy lingerie.

As a sane and healthy man, my dick responded to that image of that tempting girl, looking up at me with those alluring brown eyes and parted lips.

So yes, I fucked her.

I heard those moans spill from her lips, heard her moan my name as she reached her climax and tasted her.

There's never a good excuse for adultery.

My eyes fall on her body and see the bruises I've left behind. The hickeys on her breasts and my fingerprints on her ass and thighs.

Aurora shifts in her sleep, exposing her inner-thighs where I see marks from my stubble and hips. And she took it all.

It was never my intention to hurt her this badly. Seeing her cry hurts, I'd rather see her smile.

And as she does so, witness her nose scrunch up the slightest and the dimples appear in her cheek.

She's all I can think about lately, all I see when I close my eyes.

The way she mumbles in her sleep and snuggles up to me makes me smile. Or how she can be so clingy and sensitive.

When I saw Carla's message earlier, I asked myself what the fuck I'm doing. How I'm still capable of sinking myself into Aurora while having a girlfriend.

Because the thought of cheating never crossed my mind, even though I met beautiful women all around the world.

I stayed loyal to Carla, never strayed away from her side, and loved her.

The temptation was never there, and even with all my past girlfriends, I never desired someone else. I'd even beat up my friends if they were ever disloyal, or even talking about it.

And yet here I am, a 39-year-old sleeping with someone twenty years younger than him.

Almost twenty-one years. I grow disgusted with myself.

Every time I plan on ending it, I see her eyes meet mine and lighting up. Regret doesn't even get the chance to seep in.

Those hazel eyes are so alluring and rare, it's impossible not to drown in them. And then she'd smile or grin, her features contorting into joy, which just spreads a warm feeling in my chest.