𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐙𝐄𝐃 | 𝟏𝟖+

fifty-one; spark

A U R O R A

"My darkest hours. Girl, I felt so alone inside of this crowded room. Different girls on the floor, distractin' my thoughts of you. I turned into the man I used to be, to be."

. . .

I wake up the next day, with my stomach in knots. I get up from bed and grab a pair of sweatpants and a shirt, brushing my teeth before going downstairs.

My eyes go to the shower, and a vivid image of Riccardo thrusting into me from behind flashes in front of my eyes.

I shake my head and splash my face with a bit of water. I guess that being in New York brings back some memories, even though I got over him a long time ago.

I walk out of the bathroom and go downstairs, walking into the kitchen and post-mating some breakfast, since I still need to do some grocery shopping.

I sit around a bit, getting bored and yet being incredibly nervous for tonight. I don't know how I should style my hair, or do my make-up.

Do I need to let people come over? Or is it something that I can handle myself?

The phone by the door goes over, and I frown, thinking it's pretty early for my breakfast to have arrived.

I walk over to it and answer it. "Yes?"

"Good morning, Ms. Amoretto, I believe you ordered a dress?"

I suddenly remember that it was supposed to arrive today and want to smack myself for having forgotten it.

"Right! Yes, you can send it through. Thank you so much and have a nice day," I smile.

"You as well, Ms. Amoretto."

I put the phone back and walk back to the kitchen, retrieving my phone before going back to open the door, waiting a minute or two for the dress to arrive.

After having received the dress and lain it out on the couch, I let out a sigh and open up the zipper, my eyes meeting the red material.

I'm not fully satisfied with the dress, but it'll do. As Alex said, not a lot of people that are important to me are going to make an appearance and it's not work-related.

After a while, my food arrives and I find myself eating it, sitting on the kitchen island while hearing familiar laughter in a distant memory lingering around in my head.

I eat my breakfast in silence, the knots in my belly loosening up now that I'm getting some food in my system.

A feeling of emptiness settles over me, and I can't help but feel so... lonely and oddly bored. It feels weird, and I can already feel that this day is going to take ages to pass.

And there is nothing to do throughout the day, except for the gala. I'll start getting ready in the afternoon, but it's a while before I'll head to the shower to do so.

I take a seat on the couch and focus my eyes outside, instead of feeling butterflies in my belly, it feels like moths have taken their place.

Their ugliness is starting to take over me and makes bile rise up my throat.

"Fuck, why am I like this?" I whisper to myself, frowning.

I know that Riccardo is somewhere near me, but I've gotten over him and it's not like I dream about him, or that he's all my mind can think about.

Yes, I was in love with him. Only four months have passed so I can't say I grew up from being that naïve girl, but I've learned from my mistakes.