𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐙𝐄𝐃 | 𝟏𝟖+

forty-nine; goodbye

A U R O R A

"But I've been the hardest to love, you're tryna let me go, yeah, I can see it, I can see it. I've been the hardest to love, it's hard to let me go, I can feel it, I can feel it."

. . .

I redid my exam.

It's two days later and I got the results back, but I'm refusing the look at them. The nerves were eating me alive before I took the exam, and now they're killing me.

"Just open it, for fucks sake," dad groans and leans his hands on the kitchen island. I sigh and take my iPad, opening it and going to my emails.

I exhale a trembling breath and open the PDF, scrolling down with a racing heart.

"I MADE IT!" I scream once I see the results. I scream and put the device down, running towards dad and flying into his arms.

"I knew you could do it," he laughs and squeezes me, before putting me down. Mom takes me into her arms as well and tells me she's proud of me.

"I did it," I grin and let out a sigh in relief. "I'm going to tell Riccardo, he did a good job tutoring you," dad says with a smile on his face and walks out of the room.

The smile dies down a bit on my lips.

It's been three days, and I haven't spoken to him nor has he contacted me. I try to distract myself a lot, and it works.

I just need to keep this going, before I can finally move on from him.

"You did good, honey. I'm proud of you," mom smiles and kisses me on the forehead.

I feel good and proud of myself, knowing that I've accomplished this and worked hard for this.

Knowing that dad is calling Riccardo to let him know I succeeded, hurts. I'd want to celebrate this with him, but I know better.

I should put myself before him, and not stoop as low as to go and crawl back to him. Not anymore, it hurts too much.

"I'm going to make a reservation tonight, it's been a while since we went out for dinner," mom says and turns around, grabbing her phone and walking out of the room as well, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Dad walks back in and gives me another hug, telling me how proud he is once again. "I never had a doubt, dolcezza," he smiles.

I go back upstairs and into my room, calling Laure and Chad to inform them that I passed. I can't imagine what I would've done if I failed again.

"I'm so proud of you, I knew you had it in you," Laure states. I smile. "Thank you, Laure. How was the rest of the night with Kimberly?"

"It was good! We had a lot of fun together and she told me she likes you a lot! I can sense a new friendship starting to form," she answers, making another smile appear on my face.

"Yeah, me too. She seems like a sweet girl," I agree.

"Anyway, how was it with the old man?"

I groan and let myself fall on my bed, looking up at the ceiling.

"It was a joke," I sigh and roll my eyes, "he was drunk and talking shit. Then he smelled the guy's cologne, the one I made out with, and the next morning he made a fuss about it."

"You stayed the night?!"

I wince.

"Yeah... I mean, he asked me to stay since he didn't want to be alone and I felt so bad for him. Then he asked me to sleep with him, just in the same bed, and after some hesitation, I complied. But nothing happened between us. We held hands and fell asleep," I explain, knowing it sounds so stupid and lame.