𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐙𝐄𝐃 | 𝟏𝟖+

thirty-nine; weak

A U R O R A

"They say 'you crazy, just leave him he'll suffocate you', but I wanna be in your arms. They say 'no, don't pick up the phone, let him think there's nobody home', but I'm under your spell."

. . .

"FUCK HIM!"

I wince as Laure's harsh voice meets my ears.

"That's what I'm trying not to do!"

"Not what I meant, stupid ass bitch!"

"It's hard not to," I pout and sit on my bed, putting my phone on speaker. "We kissed yesterday, it was very brief but still... it managed to catch me off guard... and we talked and laughed and he was so hot and cute," I groan and bury my head in my pillows.

"Getting yourself together doesn't include kissing someone you slept around with," Laure tells me. I huff.

"I guess it doesn't... but I could give 'getting myself together' a new meaning?" I suggest.

"Shut the fuck up," she replies. "I'm seeing him again tomorrow," I tell her. "Okay, nothing wrong with that. Just keep the legs closed, think you can do that?"

I roll my eyes. "I'm not desperate."

Yeah, you are.

"Of course not, honey," she replies, but the sarcasm drips off her voice. "I don't know why I'm friends with you," I sigh.

"You need me."

"You'll never catch me say that," I mutter. She laughs.

"You love me though," she says. "Barely," I reply. "Go fuck yourself, whore."

We continue to banter back and forth until she needs to hang up since her boyfriend is picking her up.

Everyone around me is loved up and here I am, using my fucking vibrator to get off.

Chad and Kate are in a weird stage, so I don't want to bother them. Kate and I have been talking a bit more, and I appreciate her efforts to try and cheer me up.

Her behavior is still questionable but I understand that she's a bit confused. At least she broke up with Carlos.

Laure is all lovey-dovey with her boyfriend and even Elena is texting with a guy. And as the cherry on top, I see a girl exiting Nicolas's room as I exit mine.

That isn't something I wished to see first thing in the morning. The brunette sends me a sheepish smile when she meets me, and looks down in embarrassment as she walks down the hallway.

Nicolas looks up when I open his door and scrunch up my nose. "You're disgusting."

He flicks me off. "Go back to Chad," he replies. I roll my eyes.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I'm not doing that anymore. Anyway, I'm at least more discreet about my hook-ups. You, on the other hand, aren't," I say and narrow my eyes.

"Noted boss. I'll use my car next time," he says and sends me a bittersweet smile. Now I'm the one who flicks him off and close the door behind me.

I pass a window in the hallway that looks out on the garden, and I see mom laying on one of the sunbeds with Elena, their eyes closed while they're talking and sun-bathing.

I continue to look at her and wonder if I should tell her. I want to hear her advice and finally get it off my chest.

But would she be disappointed in me? She knows that Riccardo and Carla are together. So she'd be quick to figure out that I seduced Riccardo into sleeping with me.