"Either you become a cheater and fuck me, or you break up with her and still fuck me. I'll win either way."
. .
"I usually get everything I want. But it wasn't the same case with him. I could show off my sweet smile and flutter my lashes, but that...
"You've got my devotion, but man I can hate you sometimes. I don't want to fight you, but I don't want to sleep in the dirt."
. . .
After that interesting... visit of Carla, I snuck a bottle of vodka up in my room and drank from it, needing the world to spin a bit to be able to cope with what had happened today.
I'm sitting against my bed on the ground, gazing out of the window. My lower lip starts trembling.
I take another sip and savor the foul taste, appreciating the effect in has on me. I opened the window, enjoying the feeling of the cold wind caressing my cheeks.
I miss Riccardo.
I miss his laugh, his touch, our conversations. The way he'd look at me or shake his head when I'd do silly things.
"I wanna be alone, alone with you does that make sense?" I hum and lean my head back on the bed.
I want him to be my hostage.
Billie Eilish seems to be a good go-to artist at the moment.
Without thinking, I grab my phone and open it, going to my contacts. And not thinking at all, I press on Riccardo's name and hear the phone go over.
Each dial seems like a stab to the heart.
I wonder what he's doing right now. Certainly not working. Maybe he's too busy talking with Carla if she's confronted him already.
Or maybe she didn't say shit and they're fucking.
He doesn't pick up.
Disappointment settles down on my chest until I hear the peep.
"Hey," I hiccup. "I'm drunk if you can't tell," I giggle and take another swig. "I just wanted to say that... I don't know what I wanted to say. Just wanted to hear your voice again, I guess," I shrug and stare out into the city, feeling so incredibly lonely.
I deserve feeling like this. I'm a horrible person.
The tears are burning my eyes, but before they get to fall, I hang up the phone and sigh, letting one tear escape and roll down my cheek.
I take another sip of the drink, and one turns into more and I take some more gulps, before laying down on my side and staring out of the window, letting my tears fall and collide with the floor.
My body shakes with each hiccup that leaves my body. After some time, my eyes close as tiredness takes over me, and my breathing evens out.
Curled up on the ground, I fall asleep.
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"Hold on," Laure says and pours herself a glass of whisky before downing it all. She slams it back down and breathes in dramatically.
