𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐙𝐄𝐃 | 𝟏𝟖+

forty-four; loathe

A U R O R A

"Feel my blood runnin', swear the sky's fallin', I know this shit's fabricated. Time goes by and I, can't control my mind."

. . .

I don't know for how long I sat in that car. But after some time, the fog cleared itself from my mind and I was able to drive back home, my tears dried on my cheeks.

Once I get home, my shoulders drop as I let out a sigh in relief. Today was a tough day, and all I want to do right now is take a hot shower and relax.

Dinner is waiting for me when I get home. Mom and dad are sitting on the couch, watching a TV show mom is obsessed with while dad makes stupid remarks now and then.

Once I start eating the pasta, I realize how hungry I was and shove it all inside, letting out a quiet moan and taking another plate.

"How was your day, sweetheart?" mom asks from the living room. "Good," I lie, with a mouth full of food.

I then drink a glass of water and say goodnight to mom and dad, not feeling like coming out of my room from now on.

I grab some snacks and go upstairs into my room, where I grab a pair of comfortable pajamas and head to the bathroom.

As I undress, my eyes catch my body in the mirror. I frown upon seeing some scratches and bruises on the side of my legs and hips. The collision with the wall must've been harder than I thought.

I sigh and try to get my mind off of that.

Stepping into the shower feels like a huge relief. I lean against the cold tiles and turn the water a few degrees up, enjoying the hot temperature.

I want to forget everything that has happened to me and rewind to the beginning of summer vacation.

You're such a foolish girl.

Taking the soap, I squeeze some on my hand and start lathering my body in it, rubbing over my skin and feeling the satisfaction of the suds beneath my palms.

My hands trace every inch of my body, but as I go over my breasts, I inhale a sharp breath as I recall Jack touching them.

A shudder goes through my body and I pause, opening my eyes and feeling a wave of nausea go through me.

It's just a touch, nothing happened.

But the feeling in the pit of my stomach doesn't go away as I go over my hips and thighs. The memory of his lips on mine comes back, and I feel bile rising in my throat.

With tears prickling in my eyes, I slide down to the wet floor and sit there as the water keeps on pelting down on me, washing away the soap, but not the memories.

A hiccup leaves me, and my lip starts trembling as the tears make their way down my cheek. My breathing goes faster and my hands start trembling.

Was that all I ever meant to Jack? Someone to hook up with?

"I'm so fucking naïve," I cry to myself and lean my head against the tiles, a shudder passing through my body.

My cheek is still hurting from the slap I received earlier, and I haven't given it the attention it needed.

Maybe all Jack saw was my body. He only saw the outside.

There isn't much on the inside.

I bring my knees up to my chest and rest my cheek on them, breathing out while trembling and trying to regain myself.

Which I fail miserably at.