Survival [completed]

Change in perspective

How can anyone be so perfect? Seriously, she was just amazing.  I never seem to have found the answer to that question. I’ve been asking myself this very question and can only come up with the explanation that she is…. Star. That was just it. Only Star could be this perfect. Her face was so perfectly structured, the bones sticking out at the right places, here eyes the right size, and correct colour, her nose-oh her nose- I loved it. It wasn’t the normal kind it was chubby at the tip. She looked so cute whenever she wrinkled her nose. Then there were those fucking sexy lips: those rosy, soft lips. I just loved kissing her and feeling her lips pressed against my skin. If that didn’t give someone a boner, I don’t know what will. Don’t even get me started on her body, fuck, she was hot, sexy, toned, every-damn-thing. It was literally a guy’s dream body. 

This very fact, never failed to make me pissed and annoyed. I saw the way the guys checked Star out in school. Especially on the first-day of school. You could literally see their dicks sticking out of their pants. I hear stuff too, though they refrain from talking about her in front of me since I’d punched the shit out of them. Fuckers. It was good thing Jasper had came up with the plan for us to be pretend-boyfriend-girlfriend. I’d never have gone with it if he hadn’t pointed out that Star would then have to free will to go out with anyone in that shit hole. Also he added that I’d maybe finally get the balls to tell her how I feel. Fuck, that was hard.

Telling her I loved her was a completely different story. Damn, she looked so scared and upset, you’d think that was the only way to make her happy. It was worth it though. I’d do anything for this girl. She got me wound around her pretty finger the day our parents sent us to kindergarten together and she pulled the hair of some girl who said I was too talkative. Gotta love the fighter in her.

Recently though, I haven’t seen that in her. It’s like the fighter has died or went into hibernation mood. Hibernating for ten years. Fuck she’s gotta start fighting back. I mean she does fight in her own small ways. But it wasn’t enough. She had to realize what she had: Elliot. She could move in with him and ditch the bloody fucktards. Hell, she could move in with Jasper or me. The guy’s got plenty of space in that mansion on a house of his.  Still Jasper and I had agreed to not over step and let her make her own choices when it came to the parent front. Others, we took control whenever we could.

Thinking about how unfair Star’s life was never fails to make me so pissed, like bull seeing red pissed. I refocus on Star who was looking out the window of the car. We were in Elliot’s car heading to some high-end hotel for a buffet. All I cared was that Star was with me and there was food. I was planning on dropping the bomb that the girl at the finale dance last Saturday was none other than my beautiful and graceful girlfriend. I was so proud of her for that. I wanted to do something big for her to congratulate her; I just haven’t gotten a clue on what yet.

Finally, we pull up at the front of the hotel, it has a butler and all those people who flag cabs for you and stuff. Looked semi posh, I look at Star and see her eyes widen in awe. The girl had a soft spot for luxury and hotels. She’ll fall in love with the crappiest hotel. That could possibly say something about her choice in men, I wasn’t that good for her. She definitely could do better, it was wonder she even still took me as a friend. I swear, I must have pissed her off more times than I can count. I’ve even hurt her really bad sometimes. This morning being the latest:  what a dick right?

So when she joins me at the entrance of the hotel and wrap an arm around her and kiss the side of her head “I really am sorry about this morning. I love you okay?” I tell her. That was the only way I knew how to tell her I cared for her and to prove myself to her.