Survival [completed]

Tristan Shaw

I leave a note to my parents in the living room telling them where I was going and head out. The last thing I needed was talking to them now. They were fine with me going for runs or to the park. They knew who lived here and the regulars at the park. They also knew that I wasn't going to go blabber to the first person I saw about what was happening at home. They made sure of that, I think as I recall the burn mark on my back when they found out I had tired to tell my teacher about it. 

The minute I was out of the house I pushed off my heels running in the direction of my usual route: till the end of the street, to the park, pass by it and then by the really expensive mansion-like houses, and then to Jasper's street and then circle back. That totalled to about five miles. 

I let my thoughts consume me as I ran focusing on nothing in particular as I muddled over forgotten memories and thoughts that I block out on a daily basis. When I refocus on my surrounding I realise I'm not alone. I could feel his presence from the park but I continued running knowing that he would run with me and allow me to be with my thoughts. I was already nearing Jasper's street when I slow down to a jog and Tristan follows me. 

"Hi" I pant out

"Hey," Tristan says smiling even as he jogged. "Spaghetti in your brain?" He asks me. 

I smiled at our term for 'having a lot to think about' "Yeah, you can say that" 

"So bad that you have to cry?" He asks almost accusingly. 

That makes me stop. I reach up to my face and realise that with the sweat there are tears too. How could I be crying without realising? Tristan watches me. He steps closer to me on the sidewalk and cups my face in his hands. His thumbs brush over my cheeks wiping both sweat and tears from my face. "It kills me to see you like this." He tells me. "You can talk to me about it" 

I look down and lean into his hand. My lips are close to his palm and if I tilted my head a little, I'd be kissing his hand if I moved even a bit more. Instead, I take my face out of his hands and wrap my arms around his thin muscular waist and rest my head against his chest. "You're helping even when you think you don't" I reply him. 

Tristan wraps his thick heavy arms around me and holds me close. I loved being in his arms, I always felt safe and protected in them. "I'm always going to be here for you," he reminds me like always. 

I don't reply him cause I know when he actually finds out what's going on he'll hate me and be disgusted by me and leave. I hug him for a long time. I didn't want to let him go. I never wanted him to leave. I just couldn't imagine a life without Tristan in it. He literally has been with me since birth. There was never a point in my life that Tristan hasn't been in. He was there when I learnt how to ride a bike- he was the one who thought me how to, he was there when I first broke my arm from climbing a tree. 

"You ready to run back?" He asks after a while. 

I bury my head in his chest telling him I'm not. He knew me well enough for me to not talk to him to tell him my thoughts. I knew him that well too. He'd understand when I wanted to stay quiet or when I just needed him to be a friend. 

"Alright let's go to the swings." He says and wraps an arm around my shoulder and I leave my hand around his waist. We walk like that pass the houses that I love. These houses were truly a work of art. They were all gated and they had a very elite, mansion look to the front but the back was very family, casual type. Some of them even had a swimming pool outback. I look up to admire them and see a new tenant moving in. He looks up at us as we walk by his house and I immediately divert my glance to the ground. 

When we reach the park we head to our usual spot: under the tree next to the swing. Tristan sits down and pulls me onto his lap. He usually just let me sit next to him. I sat on his lap a little awkwardly. I didn't know if I could lean against his chest or not. What should I do? Get off his lap! 

I decide to turn and face him so I throw one leg over him and sit somewhat squatting on his legs. I look at him and like always his drop-dead gorgeous looks slap me across the face. His blue eyes and chestnut brown hair that was cropped to fit his head. It allowed more room for one to admire his cheekbones and jawbones. Those were my favourite of all. I always wanted to trace his face. Though that would be a little too awkward. 

Tristan takes my hand in his snapping me out of my admiration for this boy. "Star..." he sighs.

"Tri..." I copy his tone. For a few seconds, I let myself imagine him liking me and him telling me now. The feeling was exquisite. It seemed to take away all the dark thoughts in my head. It made me so happy. STOP! enough.  Tristan can never actually like me. It's one-sided, Always has always will. Why would he like me? I was nothing special, if anything, I only gave him unhappiness. I was a bad friend and daughter. Even my own parents hated me. I think to myself. That helped to bring back to reality. 

He pulls me closer to him and stares into my eyes, searching for answers. I try my best to hide my true feelings for him and the pain and sadness within me. He didn't need any motivation. As I gaze into those clear blue eyes that are filled with the world's biggest amount of love and care, I begin to lose myself in those eyes. My logical side screams at me to snap out of it. It throws all sorts of vile images to get me to snap out of it. The beating I got earlier was the key to snapping me out of it. 

I pull back "I wanna go on the swing." I tell Tristan who looks a little upset. I stand up ignoring him and the pull that I had to him. I wanted to go back to his lap and stare into those eyes forever. 

"Alright, I'll push you," he says standing up too. I sit on the swing and wait for him to push. I feel his arms connect with my back as he pushes me forward. Yes, for now, I was able to avoid it. "So are you planning on telling me what happened?" Tristan fishes. 

"Nope," I reply shortly. 

"Why not," Tristan asks as he rounds the front to face me.

I am going pretty high now so I stay quiet for a full swing and try to think of something besides my usual answer. "Because it's not important," I say hoping nonchalance will help. 

"Wow, never knew you were emotional so much so that a 'not so important' matter could make you cry!" Tristan accuses catching me on my lie.

"Tristan, can we just hang out and spend the rest of summer happily without fighting? Cause if not, I'm leaving" I say frowning at him. 

"Fine, fine. I'll stop." He says "Don't leave." and he sits down on the swing next to me. 

We sit and talk for hours about anything and everything like always. We people watch and laugh at the kids playing. Then finally it was getting dark so we both had to go home. We walk together to the end of our streets and stop there. Tristan pulls me into a hug and holds me tight. I hug him back and draw strength from his hug. 

"You don't have to hide from me, I'll never think of hurting," He tells me sincerely. 

"I know, thank you," I tell him and pull away. 

"Good night, see you tomorrow!" Tristan says and lets me walk into our street first.