Survival [completed]

Acceptance

“What did you say?” I ask Mr Stone again.

He looks at me a little nervous, “I said, I’d want to be your father…. If you’ll let me” He says, it was very clear he was nervous, his voice was so shaky. I was sure if I touched his palms they’d be clammy and maybe even filled with sweat.

But as I let this news try to sink in to the closely-knit pours of my brain, I couldn’t do anything but stare at Mr Stone shocked.  I had thought of living with him but deep down, I knew that it’d never be true, even now I had my doubts. Then I had also prepared myself for him completely rejecting me. But this was nowhere near either.

“What do you mean by you want to be my father” I ask him.

Mr Stone looks at me at a loss; he opens his mouth and then closes it. He looks at me at a loss, then he stuffs his hands in his hair. “Well…you know…do whatever a father and daughter would do. Support you through everything, any events you go for…what do you and Mackenzie do?” He asks me.

Now it’s my turn to get nervous and at a lost for words. I play with the lose strand from my cardigan that I had got from a thrift shop. It cost only one buck. That was how cheap this shop was. Anyway, I decide to pull ideas from books and movies I’d seen. Problem was, many movies showed the father and son hanging out. Not father and daughter, “Well…. we go out together, like a day in the week we go for dinner. Just the two of us. It’s our time…” I say imagining a sort of father daughter relationship like that. One where the father actually cared for the daughter, and listened to what she had to say. That would be nice. I think to myself.

Without even realizing it, I find my eyesight getting blurred. I look down instantly. “I have to go.” I say and rush out of the storeroom before anything else could be said. I run in the direction of the car park and slam straight into the arms of the one person I trust the most. He collects me into his arms and carries me to the car. Silently, sobs escape me and I clutch tightly to his chest.

“I’ve got you.” Tristan tells me as he puts me into the passenger seat. “You’ll be fine.” He says as he crouches next to me.

“He wants to be part of my life.” I cry out loud.

That cuts Tristan off his comfort attempts. He backtracks “isn’t that a good thing?” He asks me confused.

I shake my head still crying. Tristan doesn’t say anything and shut my door and walks over to his side and climbs in. He drives to my house and I walk in my sobs having died down. I am just silent now. Tristan parks his car at his house and after a few minutes, he’s climbing through my window. I’m seating on the edge of my bed and staring blankly at the floor as I try to think of a way out.

“Star, can you please explain to me why Mr Stone wanting to be a part of your life a bad thing.” Tristan asks me cautiously.  He is squatted in front of me and looking into my eyes.

I stare at him and slide down to the ground. Tristan sits opposite me and takes my hands in his. He plays with it as he waits for me.

“I’m scared.” I tell him. “I’m scared, he’ll hate me, and I’m scared I’ll let him down. What if I am not the kind of daughter he wants? What if he leaves? What if he doesn’t want me in the end? Then there’s the fact that he’s so rich and he probably wouldn’t want a girl like me tainting his reputation. Who would?” I continue ranting some more and Tristan patiently listens to me.