Survival [completed]

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The tears never seemed to end. They just kept on flowing. I cried when I was in bed and curled up in a ball, I cried when the nurse had come in to serve dinner, I cried when Gavin came in looking a little out of place, my guess was the nurse told him I was a snotty wreck.

“Star…?” He called warning me of his entrance.

I couldn’t answer him, speaking was just too difficult.

“What happened?” He asked coming to the side I was facing in my ball.

 I cry harder when he asks as I recall everything that was said earlier. Tristan’s eyes just keep haunting me.

“Okay…where’s Tristan?” he asks me

I don’t answer him and pull myself into a tighter ball.

“Oh right. Okay, well, you have to eat. So please eat. And stop crying, the nurses are scared” Gavin tells me “I was joking they’re just concerned” he correct himself after I don’t respond.

He leaves me after that and I continue my crying. Well, to be honest, I wasn’t crying all the time. I’d stop and then continue after a while. I was alone in the room and wasn’t expecting anyone else for the night so I let myself really cry, mucus, tears and hair all smeared everywhere. It really was a disgusting sight.

Only my father, had to also bear witness this ugly state I was in. As if seeing me passed out and covered in blood wasn’t enough. I felt bad for him. So when he entered, I attempted to clean up.

“Star…what happened?” he asks as he stands in front of me.

I bury my face into the pillow as fresh tears flow out.

“My poor princess,” He sighs as he combs my hair away from my face. I cry harder at his endearment, realizing that this was also the first time I had referred to him as my father.

“Move over” he says and I feel the bed dip. I follow his instructions and find that he has climbed in as well. I turn to face him confused. “If you want a hug or something,” He says getting all nervous and skeptical again. I give him a small smile and nod my head.

“Come on” he urges and opens his arms out for me. For some weird reason, I feel like I was five and it felt like all that mattered was getting into the arms of my father and I’d be ‘safe’. Following that instinct and snuggled up to him and buried my head into his chest. He held me the whole night, I think. He didn’t ask me what happened or why I was crying. He just let me be and held me tight. Never letting me go. I don’t remember when I fell asleep or if I fell asleep cause I fall asleep and wake up with the same thought: Tristan was gone.

I am still in my father’s arms and he’s still holding me. I squeeze my arm under him and wrap my arms around him hugging him tight. I probably shouldn’t have done that cause I end up waking him up.

He stirs and then feels disorientated for a bit, then he realizes his surrounding and I watch as his eyes search frantically for me. I look up forcing a smile on my face for him. The least I could do was greet him pleasantly. It doesn’t last long though, I’m in tears within seconds.