Survival [completed]

The final Chapter.

I wake up and for once in seven days and don’t feel as lost. I had a plan: I was going to fight for Tristan. I was going to walk to his house and beg him to forgive me. I didn’t care what it took; I was going to get him back. I thought to myself. With this newfound confidence I got out of bed and did all the morning rituals in a blur as I thought of the various options in which I could apologize, how I was going to knock on his front door, what I was going to say to him if he opened it or if his parents opened it. What I’d do if he weren’t home. I even thought of what I’d do after. I knew then that I never wanted to lose him ever again and that I would never ever take him fro granted anymore. I should have realized that Tristan’s insecurities still stuck with him no matter my telling him that he was all that I wanted. I was going to have to show him. Prove it to him. I just needed one more chance.

I was in the kitchen and thinking of the same thing over and over again that I hadn’t noticed my father walk in. Only when he shook me did I realize he was there “What are you so deep in thought about?” He asks me

“I’m going to talk to Tristan. I am going to fight for him” I tell my father, the confidence I felt emanating in my voice as I told him my rough plan.

I didn’t know if my father had spit out his coffee cause it was too hot or cause he thought my plan was crazy. “So let me get this straight, you’re going march straight into his house and profess your love to Tristan and then ask for a second chance? Just like that?” He scoffs.

“Well, what more can I do. I have to fight for us. One of us has to” I say getting nervous as my confidence thins with my father’s scorning.

“I don’t disagree, I just feel that you should not feel so confident. Be open to the prospect that he might actually have moved on.” He tells me regretfully. Up until now, the thought hadn’t crossed my mind. I hadn’t let it. I wasn’t going to let it get to me now. Not when my confidence level was up this high. No way. I needed the boost.

“Worth a try” I say and jump off the stool and walk out bravely and with one goal in mind. I walk pass the park and look at it remembering all the memories we had here. Nostalgia kicks in and I smile at the fond memories made here. For some reason, my father words return to me as I walk pas the park and to Tristan’s street. He might actually have moved on. The words seemed to be on replay and with each replay, it diminished my wall of confidence by great lengths. So as I stood hesitating at the end of his street, it didn’t take much effort to turn back and return in the direction I came from.

With the little amount of fight left inside me, I decided I’d wait at the park and see if he came. So that’s what I did the whole day. I sat on the swing and looked up expectantly, whenever I heard the crunching of the leaves or a slight hint of footsteps. It was getting really cold out here and I was glad for the three layers I donned before leaving. With each person’s passing, disappointment flooded my heart and stabbed it ruthlessly. Afternoon passed and the sky began to darken. Tristan still hadn’t come. I wanted to wait longer but I was sure, my father would be worried. So I trudged home with my heart as heavy as lead. It literally felt like I was going to fall from its weight.

“Where have you been all day?” My father asks concerned.

“The park” I say solemnly.

“How’d it go?” he asks cautiously

“I chickened out at the last minute. I spent the whole day at the park” I tell him as a tear I had been forcing back down won the battle and did it’s victory dance down my cheek. I wiped it off hastily. I didn’t want to cry. I wanted to yell and punch something. I wanted Tristan!