CHAMPIONS

My Valentine

Mipha: We're a little late, but happy Valentine's Day! 

Link: I know who MY valentine is

M: hmmm... I wonder who that could be

Revali: idk who mine could be

Urbosa: me neither. >:(

R: >:(

M: fun fact: 9% of breakups happen on Valentine's Day, but almost as many make ups happen too. 

L: please pray that we are not part of that nine percent

M: we aren't.

L: thank Hylia 

R: tch, couples.

U: be nicer, Revali. They're beautiful, you're just jealous.

R: am not

U: are too

R: am not

U: are too

R: am no-

M: it's Valentine's Day! Stop fighting!

Daruk: oh look, it's the day that has no meaning to me because I'm hopelessly single for the rest of my days.

Impa: dude...

Zelda: I love Valentine's Day...

I: ooh is it cause if that new gir-

Z: shut it Impa!

I: uh- sorry...

R: everyone can hear me raising my eyebrows. You did say "new girl'

I: well darn. Sorry Zelda.

Z: well... It was about time anyways.

R: time for what, Zelda?

Z: it would make me glad if you didn't spread rumours, okay?

L: I would never do that, and I think I speak for Mipha and Daruk as well

U: you already know that I'd never talk

R: no promises, senorita

Z: frank you Revali

M: Zelda that was a rather creative way around dropping the f bomb. 

R: "frank"

Z: hmph.

R: I still don't understand why we can't just say fu-

M: because my brother reads through my search history, that's why.

R: so you're okay with your brother finding stuff about you "franking" Link, but not cursing? 

M: o///o what the frank is wrong with you Revali?!

L: yeah, bird brain, stop picking on my franking fiancé and I!

R: frank you, I'm out.

System: Revali has left the chat

I: uh-

U: I feel like this is going to be an ongoing joke. 

Z: probably.

M: a n y w a y s

L: *clears throat*

U: now what are we gonna do?

I: it's kinda dull around here without Rev, ngl

L: I don't want to admit that that's true, but

R: surprise, mother frankers! I never really left, and now you've admitted that it's boring without me! So there! We can have a whole chat without Link, but not a single chat without me.

I: aRe yOu cHaLlEnGiNg mE?

R: yes

I: shoot. I wasn't ready. 

R: didn't think so.

M: this isn't really turning out to be much of a Valentine's Day , is it?

L: no, no it isn't.

R: probably because half of us don't have anyone to celebrate it with. Over half of us are single.

Z: hmmm ya don't say

I: single people attendance

U: here

R: here

Yiga: present

D: here

I: and here.

L: nobody's gonna acknowledge that the Yiga swordsman that's been in this chat since the beginning just spoke to us again except it wasn't a harbinger of evil

Y: I was never a harbinger, I just said ominous stuff to scare you, and kidnapped Daruk a whole bunch

D: and never was it pleasant.

Y: u sure

D: I'm sure

L: hey, Yiga, how did you even become a Yiga? And why?

Y: to become a Yiga, all ya gotta do is sneak in, say that you honor Ganon, and then boom, you're a Yiga. But everyone has a different reason for becoming one. My friend did it because she was an orphan with a sister who had nowhere else to go, but I, myself, just do it because I get payed to stand around all day.

L: oh okay that's valid

M:  this was definitely not anything to do with Valentine's Day, but that's fine. 

L: merry linkmas to all, and to all a good night?

M: wrong holiday, sweetheart...

System: Groupchat closed.