CHAMPIONS

The Ritual of Life

Urbosa: Where IS everyone today?

Revali: whomst hast summoned the ancient one

U: oh dear

Daruk: He's been quoting memes for the last six hours I need backup

U: oh             dear

Zelda: guys can I have mental support

D: why

U: of course sweetie

Z: I- uh Daruk this is really embarrassing can Urbosa and I just have a moment

System: Urbosa and Zelda have been ghosted.

U: there.

Z: well I turn seventeen on the fourteenth, and I figured we'd have a celebration

U: ah... I see your problem. That's Mipha's wedding day, isn't it?

Z: well yes...

U: I'm not sure what to say, honey...

Z: I have to make a trip to the Spring of Wisdom that day with Link, my father trusts no one but him with me. So either I disobey my father and get killed, or I steal the groom from his own wedding

U: That's not much of a choice, is it?

Z: No, it isn't a choice at all

U: Well, that's in a  couple of months, dear. Plenty of time to use persuasive methods to sway your father's mind.

Z: um...

U: Let me rephrase that. We have time to get your dad to let Link have his wedding.

Z: ah...

U: Why did you need to speak with me privately?

Z: well there's a different reason entirely for that.

U: and...?

Z: Link and Mipha... I saw them

U: yes? I've seen them too

Z: but they were... Uh... Maybe I shouldn't be saying this at all

U: ...It's fine, I won't spill about who told me

Z: Let's just say they were performing a sacred ritual

U: ah yes. The Ritual of Life. Always so awkward 

Z: oh. Um... Urbosa, I was talking about kissing, not... Mating

U: oh... Um.... Continue.

Z: They're obviously in such deep love... But Link is so beautiful that for a second I became jealous.

U: Jealousy is natural, dear.

Z: But I, Zelda Hyrule, the princess, should be able to suppress all emotion! Just like HE does.

U: You're a sixteen year old girl, Zelda. Don't hold yourself at a higher standard than you would others.

Z: But I'm different, Urbosa!

U: No, you're not. No matter what people lead you to believe, you're still a child. You don't deserve to have this immense weight on your small shoulders.

Z: ...

U: This is why people are elected in Gerudo town. We don't want children to bear such a large burden from such a young age.... Unless, of course, they want t bear that burden....

Z: you elect children?

U: only the ones that can harness lightning, and have the strength of mind to take care of an entire city.