Infatuated (hsau)

chapter 20.

°°
And I know you're down and out now, but I need you to be brave
Hiding from the truth ain't gonna make this all okay
I see your pain, if you don't feel our grace
And you've lost your way
I will leave the light on
°°

Harry Styles

Not once have I spoken to the guys all night, and not once have I complained. I've been doing shots with Harlow all night and she even got herself behind the bar and made her own version of a cocktail. It was strong, more alcohol than anything else but surprisingly she managed to drink it like it was juice. I didn't feel very manly sitting there sipping an orange cocktail with a pink umbrella and blue straw, but I didn't care.

It feels good not to care.

Tonight Harlow was smiling instead of rolling her eyes at me and the smile she wears must go down in history as one of the most contagious I've ever seen. It's clear as to why it's a club she works in, she likes making people happy and she can do that with just a smile.

I managed to make her laugh tonight too. I told jokes that she giggled at rather than got angry at and I think it's safe to say those will be the type of jokes I'll continue making. I like her laugh, she always holds her hand up to her mouth and barely even makes a sound but her face does all the talking.

She's sweet.

She's the type of person I could write many songs about.

Harlow made me laugh too. I struggled to keep my dark expression because I kept finding myself laughing uncontrollably at the things she'd say. She's full of sarcasm but she jokes about herself quite a lot. It is funny but the more I think about it I realise it's pretty sad.

Tonight she looks so carefree and relaxed, like she doesn't want to wrap her hands around my neck to strangle me or gauge my eyes out with the claws she likes to call acrylic nails.

Our conversation was interrupted when someone called her name from behind her and she fell into a new one with two younger girls in short dresses. That prompted me to pull my phone from my pocket so I didn't just look like a lonely man at the club by himself and when I saw the time I was surprised to find that I've spent hours here on these stools with Harlow.

I can see Zayn and Louis heading to the bathroom, whether they're going for the purpose of using the bathroom or drugs I'm not but I think it's time to remind them I'm still alive. I could use the coke too. All this being captivated by a woman's smile is driving me crazy, I don't know what's wrong with me.

"Just going to the bathroom," I tell her, standing up from the stool but immediately the smile fades into a look of concern.

She wishes the two girls she was talking to well, pulls them in for a hug whilst her smile reappears. From what I made out, those girls aren't friends, just people who regularly visit the club and yet Harlow was absolutely over the moon to be talking to them. She spoke to them like they were family.

Harlow turns back to me, bringing back that concerned expression and sighs, "I don't think that's a good idea."

Somehow she just knew my reason for visiting the bathroom, of course she does. Intelligent is what she is, nothing goes by her.

"How'd you know?" I ask already knowing what it was she was hinting at.

"Louis and Zayn have just gone into the bathroom, you're really telling me you just need to piss?" She guesses, raising one brow at me as she smirks because she knows she's right.

I just can't help myself sometimes.

"How are you so aware of other people's problems?" I ask her.