Infatuated (hsau)

chapter 55.

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And I have no right to need you
And I knew what my heart was gonna lose
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Harry Styles

"She sounds like a really cool girl." I smiled back.

"Look out for her Harry, just make sure she stays." She told me, sadness threaded through the words she spoke yet I felt there was hope.

"I'll keep a distant eye on her, I promise you that." I smiled, trying to disguise the lump in my throat.

Never once had I seen a woman so distraught and broken wear a smile on her face. This was a woman who had it all yet still she was so torn up inside and it sent sadness over me. An emotion I hadn't felt in years.

"She deserves the world and I just can't give it to her anymore." She sighs.

"You said it's always just been the two of you, why would you want to leave her on her own?" I ask out of curiosity.

I never did understand that, how somebody could love someone so much yet leave them absolutely broken inside. I always thought it was selfish until I lost Adriana. I always thought if she was so excited for the future then she shouldn't have left but sometimes the future is a lot more difficult to look forward to when even waking up in the morning becomes a chore.

"Because she's strong enough now."

It hurts me to hear that because I can assure you that nobody is ever strong enough to bear the brunt of losing someone you love, especially not when it's the only person you have left.

"I never grew up with parents, I was in care my whole life and the only person I had was this girl called Adriana, she was pretty much my older sister. She left care when she was 18 and committed suicide months later. She was the only family I ever had and I can assure you that no matter how strong you think she is, she'll always blame herself."

It feels weird telling a stranger the story of my upbringing, it's a story that only Liam knows but there's something deep inside me that almost feels for this woman's daughter, a girl I've never met once in my life.

It's not like me to be feeling empathetic towards someone, so the fact I was feeling this way for a stranger must've meant something.

The air around us is cold, fitting for the conversation we're sharing right now and the emotions I'm feeling, emotions I've not felt in what seems like forever.

She flashed me a sorrowful smile and when her eyes met mine I can just see how worn down and hurt this woman is. Even when she had the whole world in her hands it still wasn't enough to cure the internal ache which only seemed to eat away at her.

I swallow the lump in my throat, pulling my jacket over my shoulders a little more, "You talk about your daughter with so much pride, I'd have killed to have a mother who smiles each time someone mentions my name."

Looking into the eyes of someone so lost within themselves will always be one of the most heart-rending sights you'll ever see and if I had just managed to have one conversation with Adriana maybe I wouldn't be as fucked as I am now.

If I could just prevent one person from feeling how I felt when I lost the one person I had in my life then maybe the thoughts consuming me as I fall asleep will be gone.

It seems as if me and her daughter have a lot in common, only I've lost my best friend, she hasn't yet.

"You're a wonderful man Harry, promise me that you'll pay her a visit, maybe even become friends? She could use one and you guys have a lot in common." She says, standing up from the wall we're sitting on in the darkness with nothing but a flickering streetlight providing light.