Infatuated (hsau)

chapter 5.

°°
Leave me alone, I'm lonely
Alone, I'm lonely
I'm tired
Leave me alone, I'm lonely
Alone, I'm lonely
°°

Harlow Dean

It's 11AM. How has this already been one of the most stressful days of my life? Is it the sleep deprivation? Is it the fact I spent a whole god damn hour of my morning with Harry? Who knows. Probably a combination of both.

He came by for his phone and what could've been a 2 minute task, turned into him forcing me to go for a coffee with him, him coming back to my office and investigating each and every single one of my records and then him purposefully trying to piss me off while I was working. I couldn't handle it so I told him I was going home to sleep and he finally left me alone. I've realised I'm far too easy to piss off and this morning I was in a shit mood, if he tried that shit with me now he'd be told exactly where to go.

Greeting me by the door as I walk into the house is my best (four legged) friend. I'm a crazy cat lady at 24 years old, I dread to imagine life when I'm actually crazy cat lady age. At least I only have one, I really do try my hardest not to get Willow a little friend but I don't think she'd like it, she's a cat with a superiority complex. I mean if I was a gorgeous grey cat with blue eyes I'd have a superiority complex too. I also don't think she'd handle me giving someone else the attention, she gets jealous quite easily.

"Hey willow, yup, I'm already back," I say as I bend down to her, her head rubbing against my knee with a little purr. "My peace got disrupted by a man...I know, disgusting."

I can't believe I just spent an hour with Harry, in nothing but an oversized hoodie and shorts that you couldn't even see. Normally I'd be all dressed up and when I get dressed up I'm a whole new person, I feel so confident. It's not even that I'm that ashamed of myself without makeup or in comfy clothes, I was just caught off guard and really not in the mood to speak to anyone. I like to play dress up, I like when the night comes can I dress up as the bad bitch everyone knows me as. But during the day, when I'm not working, I'm just Harlow with the pretty grey cat that plays piano and listens to old music.

What to do?

Do I work? I feel like I should work. Keep my mind busy, maybe plan another future event, another charity night, those are fun and beneficial to everyone involved. Yeah that's what I'll do.

Do I do too many of those? I feel like I do. I don't want to be boring though. I mean, the clubs known for it's exciting friday nights so surely I'm not doing too much if its like...my brand? What if people want to go to a normal club on a friday?

Then they'd go to a normal club then wouldn't they Harlow? Club Carnal is just a normal club on crack with a theme night every friday.

I love having anxiety.

You know what fuck it. I've planned 4 months worth of themed nights, I don't need to plan anymore for a while. I've emailed all the suppliers and the cleaning company, I've payed this months bills, I've done this weeks shopping...what do I do now?

I don't know what to do with myself when I've got free time. I hate how working is hope I cope with stress because I just work, and work, and work, and eventually there is no work to be done.

But I suppose when I run out of work I have my good friend Sylvie to play with, my beautiful piano.

Sylvie was a gift from my grandmother when she died. In her will she said that with the money that comes to me, she wanted me to buy myself a piano, a proper one that isn't just a keyboard with a piano setting like the one I bought myself as a housewarming gift. So I did, I got myself a piano like the one my grandmother taught me how to play on, and I named it Sylvie after my grandmother. She taught me how to play so it only felt right, something great to remember her by. The piano is french too, just like her.