Infatuated (hsau)

chapter 85.

°°
You could still be
What you want to
What you said you were
When I met you
When you met me and
When I met you
°°

Harry Styles

I've never felt hours go by so slowly in my life.

These past few weeks have been awful, the worst three weeks of my life.

It all happened at once; Harlow's Club burning down, Harlow going missing, finding her with a broken rib, Liam dying and also Daniel dying. It was too much for the both of us to cope with and it really did take a toll on us.

There were some positives though, such as the fact Harlow let me take her to the hospital. When we got there it became clear she had actually broken three ribs and tore a muscle in her back, which you never would've been able to guess considering every time you asked her if she was okay she'd say she was fine. She wasn't fine though, I could tell the pain was killing her.

That's why I drove her to the hospital, told her we were going for a coffee and pulled up at the hospital because she needed help. She was so mad at me, didn't talk to me for a record breaking three hours. In hindsight, I probably should've told her where we were going but I don't regret it, she needed painkillers stronger than just paracetamol to fix that pain.

It felt as though we drifted apart, but she never wanted to drift too far away because she was worried about me. I spent a few days trying to accept the fact Liam is gone, and then it sunk in and I was fine again. Still upset of course, still really missing him but I keep telling myself that it's okay because he always wanted to meet Adriana, and now he can.

Harlow on the other hand, is not doing good at all.

We made the decision that she was gonna live here and that we'd find a place of our own and move in together, start over and make happy memories in a whole new house with cats. Until that day comes though, she's living with me.

After the day that everything happened, we stayed in bed for hours and let the silence consume us. Our legs tangled, arms strewn over each other's bodies as we drifted in and out of broken sleep until lying in bed became useless.

She didn't really leave bed until that day I forced her to go to hospital. She went to the bathroom and even made the odd trip down to the kitchen when I'd forget to bring her a glass of water, but aside from that she stayed alone upstairs.

I didn't blame her, we both needed to deal with things on our own and we did. I planned out a lot of things,  including Liam's funeral. Luckily for me, I've never really struggled with mental health issues so dealing with Liam's loss wasn't as big of a task for me. It was just accepting he's gone that was difficult, which Harlow helped me a lot with.

When I'd get into bed at night she'd roll over on to me and we'd talk, she'd tell me everything was gonna be okay and that as long as we have each other we'll be fine. She was right, but I could tell she wasn't okay.

I started worrying over  whether she was falling back into old patterns and when I pointed it out, she realised too and decided to get up and shower, make some breakfast and instead of sitting alone upstairs she sat in the living room with me.

To someone outside of our bubble, it seems like tasks that are so simple, but for Harlow those were great achievements and I'm proud she did that on her own.

Eventually things got better, we started talking more, closed the distance between us and eventually it got to the point where I felt as though I couldn't not be touching her. I always wanted to have her in my arms, always wanted to be holding her hand and kissing her forehead whispering she's okay and making stupid pinky promises.