I had a dream last night,
People we frustrated,
Doors were slammed,
Voices were raised,
People occasionally gave up.
My parents were ashamed to be seen with me because,
I was seen as,
The failed one.
Yeah that's right, I grew up.
And I failed terribly.
Love couldn't find me beacause,
I was burried under their hate,
Light couldn't find me because,
They had given me the darkest label.
I was looked down on as No-one and I had
Nothing left. No more hope, no more love, no more fear, no
More beliefs and no more tears. So I found a piece of rope,
And a tiny chair and I jumped.
But I wasn't scared. I didn't fight. I chose to be polite to death and welcome it.
Now this was an out of body experience.
While dying I was crying to every-one i loved,
And as my eyes closed, I was back again, staring at my lifeless body.
I climbed the tiny chair and as I stood the, the doors bust open.
My dad ran in falling to his knees at the sight of his failed child and he asked why.
Now as timewent by every-one was there, my
mom, my friends. It was silent as hell, when I tried to comfort them, it wouldn't work, they couldn't see or hear, but I was left to feel them. The pain frustration, sadness and relief.
In pain because they were hurt,
Frustrated because they were tired,
Sad because they couldn't stop me,
Relieved because finally I was gone.
The miserable burden.
And as my body hanged from that roof,
I cried in pain and gried.
I could feel everything. And I kept crying.
There I was hanging from the roof of no-where.
And there I sat on the chair, hugging my dead legs.
Comforting my cold corpse, because it'll never be able to feel that again, thought its not like I
Can could at the moment.
The sad thing was that,
For my family, for my friends.
Life goes on.
Now the saturday morning,
I sit on my bed, bawling.
Not because of pain or aches,
But for the fact that I was gone,
The fact that I wasn't at all strong,
The fact that they never cared,
The fact that I was no linger here.
And for the most part it wasn't a big deal,
Because a burden was lifted from their shoulders.
My problems removed from around their necks,
And so the question remains.
Do I really want to die?
And because I don't know the answer,
I cry.
