Dear Father,
I understand what you have been saying these past years,
I know you've tried but what if, maybe it just wasn't enough for me, to help me,
I know you think me writing is a waste of time, and you think it's just a way to shut you all out,
You think I'm disrespectful and ungrateful because I tend to pull away and be unresponsive, because I've never found the courage to say... I love you, to say thanks for everything, thanks for trying,
But you're never there,
You are,
But you're so far away.
So I turn to the next best thing,
A Book,
A Blade,
And Pills
They help me to......... Feel okay.
Reading and Writing, give me time to breathe before I go out into the real world again. To rest
My Blades, they help me to deal with the anger and frustration I feel.
Pills.......... To sleep, because at night when you think I’m sleeping, I'm not; I’m battling with nightmares and fighting not to fall into darkness.
Just needed to get that out there, cuz I know you're confused and I know you think you know it all......... Maybe you're right, maybe you do know...... But yet again, how can you know when you've never felt this way, when you've never been there?
*shrug*
I know my distance has shattered our relationship, and you telling me how pathetic I’ve been don’t help the matter. Now our relationship is so........ Dysfunctional and it hurts me too.
So I hope one day, we can mend the bond torn by pride.
Oh and one more thing...................
I'm sorry for never being enough.
