I sit and contemplate. Only when the fire is kindled, only when I think of what I’ve done, what I’ve become, I cannot breathe as the walls of my chest seem to be closing in, my breath becomes ragged, and quickly tears begin to build up, welled up in my eyes and ready to fall, my heart throbs, yet again, another contraction of confusions and anger,
Lost
I breathe through my mouth in short quick pants as life seems to be seeping from my eyes, crawling down my cheeks. My heart breaks all over again, and right now......... I'm sorry.
I sob silently and every-time I breathe, guilt engulfs me.
Regret eats me,
The hate within my heart rises higher,
Confusion makes the best of me,
And I want it to stop,
I want to stop breathing, just for the moment..........
Just for the while, I want to disappear,
At times I lay here, hopeless,
Feeling bad because I am never able to please them,
I am simply not enough,
My conscience burning my mind, reminding me of the things I’ve done to disappoint them,
And my eyes just swell with unforgiven tears.
It bothers me that I can't forgive myself for all that I have done,
And while they are asleep, I am curled up and crying,
Being consumed by my thoughts,
See, the thing is, I can only wish it didn't happen, and I can only ask to be forgiven of them, because i refuse to forgive myself.
Hey guys, as you can see, I’m pretty new at the whole posting thing so I’m grateful for your reads and all, if you guys ever have any questions or concerns or anything you can always message me, love you peeps <3 <3
~Mel~
