What Am I Doing Wrong?

Trying To Understand Life . . .

People say that dark times can either make or break you. My dark times have managed to break me, but I am finally learning to accept my past and build on everything that has come of it so far. I no longer seek everyone else's approval. All of that energy just so that people can judge you at the end of the day anyway. These days I find that the more I mind my business, the more I find peace of mind. My partner has taught me that I cannot always control everything that is happening around me, all I should do is control the way I respond to what is happening. I have never been good with people or words, I sometimes feel like I am still lost somewhere in between the alphabet and counting to 100, meaning that I still get confused about how I should respond to people. I sometimes find it difficult to make people understand me. I
always feel like an idiot because I never know how to add to a conversation. Somebody once told me that they have stopped judging people when God showed them how quickly they can switch places. I have been there before.

I was at a point in my life where I could go on trips with the family twice a year. I miss those days, I miss spending those special moments with my family. I miss having everyone together laughing and talking, kids running around playing. I miss laying on the grass with a blanket and almost falling asleep because we were up late the previous night talking with the cousins about stupid stuff. I miss getting up and being excited because today I am going to the theme park with the family. I haven’t seen my parents
for a couple of months now because I stay 6 hours away from them. I miss them terribly. I have been crazy busy with work, been trying to get myself up and going. I must say I
could never have imagined that I would ever be where I am today. God's grace is amazing.