When I See You Again

Part 2

Lindsey couldn't fall asleep. He twisted and turned, he'd gotten up for a glass of water several times, but he couldn't drift off into a peaceful sleep no matter how badly he wanted to. He checked his watch, which he hadn't taken off. 4:37 am. He sighed and ran a hand over his face, then rubbed at his tired eyes. He turned his head to his right, slowly, and closed his eyes for a moment. Stevie didn't seem troubled at all. Why would she be? She had no one to answer to. He half smiled, looking at her as she slept with her mouth slightly agape, her hair covered her face. Lindsey was tempted to push that strand aside, but he didn't want to wake her up.

Turning his head the other way, Lindsey looked out the window into the darkness of the night. He gave in. Stevie didn't even have to be that persuasive. They had another drink and then one more. Then they stopped to look at each other. Then he kissed her. Something about the two of them was different that night. He picked up pieces of her younger self, how she used to be and who she used to be, before they had joined Fleetwood Mac. And he'd missed that Stevie. His Stevie. 

When they were kissing downstairs on the couch or when they were making love in Stevie's bed, Lindsey didn't feel even slightly guilty. However, he did now. Cheri was nothing like Stevie. She clung to him much like Carol Ann did, but they were different as well. Lindsey liked Cheri, too. She was younger, beautiful and she absolutely adored him. She needed him and Lindsey enjoyed being needed. He never truly felt that way with Stevie. He had promised himself not to make the same mistakes he'd made with other women after his relationship with Stevie had ended. He wanted things with Cheri to work. Then what the hell was he doing in bed with another woman? 

Pushing the bed covers off himself, Lindsey carefully swung his legs over the edge of the bed and rose to his feet. He bent over to pick up his clothes and he began redressing. Trying to be as quiet as possible, Lindsey buckled his belt and pulled his T-shirt down over his head. Thinking he was doing fine, Lindsey made his way towards the door, hoping to leave without waking Stevie up.

"Linds?" 

He sighed, closing his eyes. Lindsey let go of the door handle, but he didn't say anything, waiting for Stevie to say something else. 

"Where are you going?" She asked, still half asleep. "Are you... you're leaving, aren't you?"

"I, uh... yeah." He swallowed uneasily, his mouth had gone dry. "I have to, Steph."

"Why?"

Such a simple question, yet, he couldn't think of an answer to it. "I just... I shouldn't have stayed."

The lamp on Stevie's nightstand dimly lit up the room. "You're not even going to look at me?"

"Let's not do this, please." Lindsey turned to face her. Sitting up against the headboard, holding the covers over her chest, Stevie just stared at him. "I shouldn't have let this happen."

"You regret it?" 

"I-"

"You do." Stevie chewed on her bottom lip, trying to keep herself from crying. "All I am to you now is a mistake."

"No, don't say that." Lindsey shook his head, still rooted to the spot. "Stevie, you know that I love you. Just... We have to stop doing this. Nothing good ever comes out of it. I'm in a relationship. I want it to work, but it's not going to if I end up in bed with you over and over again."

"Of course." Stevie laughed a humorless laugh. "How on earth did I think, I could compete with her?"

"Steph, there's no competition." He said and didn't elaborate. 

"You're right, you should have left if you knew you were going to leave anyway." Stevie shrugged. "Like a coward, you waited for me to fall asleep, so you could silently walk out."

"I didn't know that!" Lindsey's frustration began to show as he raised his voice. "I didn't even plan to stay long enough for something to happen between us."

"Something?" Stevie scoffed. "Making love to me is just something now?" Lindsey opened his mouth, but he wasn't quick enough to get a word in. "Don't lie to yourself and not to me. We made love, Lindsey. I can't remember the last time you were so sweet and gentle with me. This wasn't just a quick fuck and you know it."

"I'm not doing this." He shook his head and reached to open the door again, this time he did. 

"You're a coward!" Stevie yelled after him, repeating herself, when Lindsey walked out of her room. "You're afraid, because you still have feeling for me! You're scared that none of your relationships are ever going to work, because you still love me!"

Lindsey just kept on going. He gritted his teeth, feeling the stinging of tears as he jogged down the stairs. Stevie's voice still reached him, but he didn't reply. He slammed the front door of her house and rushed to his car.