When I See You Again

Part 12

For some reason, Stevie was nervous. Lindsey had called and asked if he could come over. There was nothing wrong with that. If anything, she was excited about seeing him, since the recording of the album was done and they hadn't gotten together for over a week now. But it was the way he sounded on the phone. She knew him, she could tell that something was on his mind. 

Awaiting Lindsey's arrival, Stevie took two pills to calm down. The medicine was working wonders. She was happy about not having to rely on alcohol to get through every single day. She made a mental note to get her prescription refilled.

Hearing the car pulling into the driveway, Stevie made her way downstairs. She shifted her weight from one foot onto the other, until the doorbell rang. She waited a second, so she wouldn't seem too eager.

"Hey." Stevie smiled, opening the door wider.

"Hi." Lindsey stepped in, they shared a hug.

"I'm happy to see you. I wasn't sure, how things were going to go between us, once we're done recording." Stevie admitted, fidgeting with a bracelet around her wrist.

"I've missed you. I was getting used to seeing you every day." Lindsey replied, but something about the way he said it didn't sound quite sincere. "I hope, I'm not interrupting anything."

"No, not at all." She shook her head, leading the way for them to take a seat. "I was just writing, like always."

He smiled, looking at her for a moment. "A new album in the works?"

Stevie didn't like small talk, especially not with Lindsey. "Linds, if you've got something that you want to say, just say it."

Clearly caught, Lindsey shifted in his seat and gave a shrug of his shoulders. "Honestly, I just wanted to spend some time with you. We're kind of doing alright right now and we can never know, when things will go to hell again."

"You think that will happen?" It hurt, knowing that he didn't have any trust in them at all. "I wish, things would only get better." Stevie said, blindly reaching for his hand. "I wish, I knew, what's going through your mind." Her eyes remained on him, while he looked away.

"Too many things." Lindsey sighed.

Stevie brought a hand up to his face and turned him, so he would look at her. Studying his face for a moment, Stevie brushed her thumb over the rough skin of his cheek. "You look sad. Talk to me. Tell me, what's going on?"

He opened his mouth, but he couldn't get a word out, feeling his throat starting to close up. He just shook his head. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"I know." Stevie nodded, smiling weakly. She just couldn't be happy, hearing him say that, when his eyes had glazed over with tears. "I love you, too."

"You're so important to me." Lindsey exhaled heavily. "I wish, we could have found a way, you know. It hurts, when we're constantly at each other's throats for the smallest things. I guess, it's who we are."

"You don't think that we could change if we truly wanted to?" 

Entwining their fingers together, Lindsey looked down at their joined hands. He lifted them up and kissed the back of hers. "Honestly, I think that we're too screwed up. But I'll always want, what's best for you." He spoke slowly, afraid that he'd break down any second. 

"What are you not telling me, Lindsey?" Stevie couldn't shake the feeling that this was some sort of a goodbye. 

"Uh, nothing... I'm just..." He shrugged. "I don't know, where all of that came from." Lindsey took a deep breath and let go of her hand to rub out the unshed tears. "I'll let you get back to your writing, I've still got some things to do." He said and stood up.

"You can stay a while long, I'm in no rush." Stevie told him, but had to follow him to the door instead. "If you're going through something, Linds, you can always talk to me, okay? Just pick up the phone, when you're ready."

They remained standing, just staring at each other for a moment. Stevie knew that he wasn't being completely honest and nor was she. 

"Well..." Lindsey trailed off, reaching for the door handle. 

"Linds, I-" Stevie began, then stopped herself.

"Yeah?"

"Nothing." She waved it off and faked a smile. "Nothing, really. I'll see you soon."