Hindi Tayo Pwede (Paramour Series #1)

Chapter Fifteen

I've been staring to their child for the whole time. Di ako makapaniwala na may anak na pala sina ni Laurel. I guess she's already 5 years young or maybe younger. She's so beautiful.

Biglang nanikip yung dibdib ko. Wishing na sana ako yung ama ng bata na iyan. Na sana may isang bagay akong panghawakan to make her mine. If only I am her father. Pero baka malito lang ang bata kung bakit ako ang ama niya though her mom is married already.

After all those years, di ko maipagkakaila na mahal ko pa din pala sya. She still have this place in my heart.

Paano kaya kung ipinaglaban ko sya? Paano kaya kung hindi ako umalis? Paano kaya kung naghintay lang ako nang mas matagal? Paano kaya kung mas nakilala ko sya nang mas maaga?

"Mom?" Bungad ko kay mommy. She's cooking already our breakfast. Sophie's still sleeping.

"Yes son?" Sagot niya.

"Can you tell me about Monique?" Napaurong sya sa ginagawa nya. Nilingon nya ako. She faked a smile.

She turned off the stove and pulled me towards the couch. I sat beside her.

"I know Sander told you already some stories about her but those are not correct. Minsan ko silang pinagalitan ng daddy mo nung nasa Pinas pa tayo. When Monique was patiently waiting for you outside our house."

"They made up---"

"Yes. Actually Monique didn't do anything. She may be your dad's mistress back then pero never akong nagalit sa kanya. Mas nagalit ako sa sarili ko dahil sa pagkukulang ko sa daddy mo. She only loved your dad more than I loved him."

Hindi ako halos makapaniwala sa sinasabi ni mommy sa akin. How can she be so good? Mom doesn't deserve this.

"You were 8 years young when your dad started cheating on me. Actually, di nga nagkakalayo ang edad nyo ni Monique. Para mo lang syang ate. Wait let me think. You are already 22. I guess she's 29 or 30. Something like that."

Hmm kaya pala mas bata sya tignan kay mommy. Well mas bata nga naman sya kesa kay mommy pero di ko inakala na di pala nagkakalayo ang edad namin.

"I met Monique nung ipinanganak kita. I saw her staring at you. I asked her bakit ka nya tinitignan, she said mahilig sya sa babies. She was young that time."

"Anong ginagawa nya sa hospital that time mom?"

"Yung mommy nya ang obgyne ko. Namana nya ata sa mommy nya ang pagkahilig sa mga bata." Napangiti pa si mommy sa sinabi niya. "Nung makita sya ng daddy mo sa isang party, as what I have told you before, parang nabihag ang daddy mo sa angking ganda ni Monique. I can sense that. Kaya I asked Laurel na kung maaari ay tulungan nya ako. To take away Monique from your father. Ako ang dahilan kung bakit naghihirap si Monique ngayon dahil pinilit kong ilayo sya sa daddy mo. Agad na inasikaso ni Laurel ang kasal nila and walang kaalam-alam si Monique doon. Nagulat nalang sya na ikakasal na pala sya sa lalaking hindi niya mahal. Ako ang may kasalanan. Sorry." Naiiyak na sabi ni mommy.

Hindi ako makapaniwala. Akala ko totoo na lahat ng sinabi ni Sander sa akin noon pero hindi pala. This one is worse.

"Kaya ako umiiyak gabi-gabi dati dahil palagi akong sinisisi ng daddy mo sa nangyayari kay Monique. Pero ginawa ko nalang naman iyon dahil mahal ko sya. Mahal ko ang daddy mo ng sobra."

Umiiyak pa din si mommy. Binigyan ko sya ng tissue para mapunasan yung basa nyang pisngi.

"Araw-araw akong nagsisisi sa mga ginawa ko sa kanya. Nanghingi ako ng tawad sa kanya dati and she said I shouldn't be sorry. Sabi pa niya nagmahal lang din naman ako. Nanghingi pa sya ng tawad sa akin. Sana daw di nalang namin sya nakilala. Sana di nalang daw kami nagkita noon sa party."

May isang bagay ang pinagtataka ko. "Magkaano-ano kayo ni Laurel mom?" I asked.

"H-He's my bestfriend. Nalaman ko lang din na may gusto pala sya kay Monique kaya sa kanya ako humingi ng tulong dati."

Niyakap ko si mommy. Umiiyak pa din sya. I felt so sorry for Monique. She suffered a lot.

Pero agad ko din namang inilayo si mommy sa akin. "Wait. Sander said that dad broke up with Monique when you're pregnant with me. What hell! That goddamn asshole!" I hissed.

"That is silly son haha. Though Monique is a lil bit older than you but she met your dad when you're already born. I knew Sander would say that. Unbelievable stories as usual." Natatawa pang sabi ni mommy kahit naiiyak pa din sya.

"Fuck that asshole! I'm gonna make him pay." Pagbabanta ko kay Sander kahit di naman namin sya kasama.

I stalked once again her facebook account. Again, I saw their little princess. Sobrang saya nya tignan. Pero wala pa ding pinagbago si miss Atacia. Maganda pa din sya. Her smile never changed.

Saturday nang napagdesisyunan kong ipasyal muna saglit si Sophie. I let her play. Di rin naman masyadong lalayo si Sophie since she is scared of being left. Like me.

Busy ako sa pagtitipa ng mga mensahe sa phone ko nang bigla itong mag vibrate. It was Charm calling again. Minsan talaga naiisip kong ang sipag naman neto magpaload. I mean pwede naman mag video call nalang kami but this time, she called me through my phone number.

"Hello Charm?" Bungad ko.

"Hi Jethro. How are you?" Tanong naman niya. I know why is she doing this.

"I'm fine. Bat ka napatawag? May problema ba?"

"Nothing. Just wanna check you out. Baka kasi di kapa ok. I mean, I know you're ok but not emotionally." Nahihiya nya pang sabi. Napabuntong hininga ako.

"I told you already Charm, stop doing this."

"I know but---"

"Wait." Agad kong pinutol yung tawag kasi napansin kong wala na si Sophie malapit sa akin.

Bigla akong kinabahan. No, di sya pwedeng mawala. Andito lang sya kanina ih. Where is she?

"Sophie? Sophie! Where are you baby?"

Tinawagan ko kaagad si mommy. She can't be lost.

"Ok son, I'm coming." Sabi ni mommy matapos ko syang tawagan.

I asked already for some help. I looked for her at the children's paradise but she's not there. Halos malibot ko na ang buong park pero di ko pa din sya nakikita.

Naiiyak na ako. Fuck! Gusto ko nang magwala dito pero nakakahiya sa mga taong andun.

"Have you seen her already?" I asked the caretaker of the park.

"Not yet sir. Maybe we'll check her on that side."

"Ok. Thank you so much."

Dumating naman na si mommy. She helped me on checking the whole park.

"Sophie? Baby c'mon! Daddy's worried already. Where are you?"

Habang kinakabahan akong naglalakad, I stepped on something. It was Sophie's nametag. Nahulog ata to habang naglalaro sya. Maya-maya lang, may narinig ako.

"Are you lost, princess? Where are your fur parents? You should have been with someone right? Hmm, you don't have any nametag as well. How can I help you?"

Napalingon ako sa may likod ng public comfort room. Andun si Sophie, malungkot na nakahiga sa damuhan.

"Ohh ghad Sophie!" Sigaw ko. Tumakbo naman sya agad saka tumalon para makalevel ako. "I was so fucking worried about you. Wag mo na ulit gagawin iyon." Saad ko saka niyakap sya.

Nilagay ko yung nametag nya ulit sa dog collar nya.

"Are you his fur parent? She was just lying here earlier. You shouldn't left her that way."

"I'm sorry. I was busy with my phone and I never thought that Sophie was lost. Thank you---"

Nanlamig ang buong sistema ko nang makita ko kung sino ang taong nakakita kay Sophie. Parang na glue yung mga paa ko at napako yung mga mata ko sa kanya.

She was shocked as well upon seeing me. This can't be happening. What is she doing here?

"Miss Atacia/Agony?" Sabay naming sabi.