XiCheng: The Last Lotus [AU- OMEGAVERSE]

7

The only thing he could do was let her sort this out on her own.

Stormy violet eyes burned with fiery rage as Yu Ziyuan glared at her husband. "What do you want?" she barked, scowling as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"My lady, let me explain," Jiang Fengmian murmured pleadingly, placing a gentle hand on her wrist. "Please, love? Please let me explain first."

"What's there to explain?"

"Ziyuan..."

"Don't," she muttered, holding up a hand to stop him. She really didn't want to hear his excuses. It didn't matter whether it was intentional or not. In the end, he had hurt her, tearing her to pieces with his betrayal. In the end, her husband had taken in another woman's child, raising him with a love and tenderness he would never show to his own. In the end, it was Wei Wuxian that commanded Fengmian's attention, leaving Jiang Cheng as nothing more than an afterthought. 

Is that what Yu Ziyuan was to him? An afterthought?

"I really didn't-"

Yu Ziyuan gave a weary sigh, silencing him with a pointed look."Stop. Just stop ok? I'm tired of arguing. Just drop it."

"But-" Jiang Fengmian tried, opening his mouth in protest.

Yu Ziyuan shook her head, walking past him as she made her way to her quarters. She ignored him, trying to hold back the tears from falling. 

She might not be a Cangse Sanren- but she still had her pride. 

"I'm leaving," she whispered, struggling to keep her voice from cracking. "You can do as you please."

***

Yu Ziyuan closed her eyes, letting the tears she had so desperately tried to hold back- finally trail down her cheeks. Ever since that conversation with her husband earlier today, all she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sob her heart out. She wanted to rage and scream, wanted to howl and shriek. She wanted to break something, wanted to watch it shatter in pieces before her. She wanted to just sag in defeat and watch as her heart slowly broke itself apart. She wanted to just let the turmoil burn and fester, hoping to keep what remained of her fragile pride.

But she couldn't.

She couldn't because she was Yu Ziyuan. She couldn't because she was the Violet Spider. She couldn't because she was the mistress of Lotus Pier. She couldn't because she was- above all, a mother and wife.

But oh how she wanted to. Oh how she wanted to crumble and break, letting the mask of control and anger slip from her face. She couldn't- of course. She couldn't because she still had disciples to train and children to look after. She couldn't because she couldn't bear to see the distressed look in Jiang Cheng's eyes. She couldn't because she was scared. She was scared of confronting her husband, scared of the truths it might reveal. She was scared that she wouldn't get the answers she wanted from Jiang Fengmian, scared that he would confirm her biggest fears. She was scared that she wasn't enough. She was scared that her husband didn't love her, scared that he was forced to be with her because of the mate bond.

She was scared, so very scared of reality. Why? Because the Violet Spider was a coward.

Letting out a resigned sigh, Yu Ziyuan glanced down at the still-warm tea she clutched in her hands. Raising it to her lips, she frowned at the slight taste of saltiness in it.

Furiously wiping away her tears, she glared at the tea- almost like she was daring it to comment.

"My lady?" a hesitant voice called out, the swish of purple robes echoing behind her.