XiCheng: The Last Lotus [AU- OMEGAVERSE]

51

"So what the hell are you going to do about it?"

Somewhere along the way, Lan Xichen thinks that he's lost his beloved A-Cheng. He thinks that the old Jiang Cheng- the one whose eyes lit up in such pure, innocent joy- whose face was once a mask of naivety and youthful glow- whose smile always betrayed his silent and delightful glee. He thinks that Jiang Cheng is gone. Lost to the sands of time.

The Jiang Cheng before him has none of the blissful radiance that once drew Lan Xichen to him like a moth to the flame. He's nothing like the young boy who hides his love behind sharp words and fierce cries. Nothing like the relentless mate Xichen had come to know and love. Nothing like the untamable omega whose violet eyes would sparkle with such strong devotion- whose motherly instincts ran deep. Nothing like the brilliant smile that had stretched across Jiang Cheng's face once upon a time- the way his arms opened to his two children. Nothing like the beloved Xichen had thought he lost- the lotus sparkling under murky waters.

Nothing at all like the Jiang Cheng of the past.

That Jiang Cheng was beautiful. Even when blanketed by sorrow and hounded by insecurity. That Jiang Cheng was strong. Only the soft vulnerability of his crooked smile an indicator of his fear. He was so strong. So incredibly strong.

And Lan Xichen loved him all the more for it.

But that Jiang Cheng doesn't exist anymore.

There's no more of that infectious smile- so hard-won and difficult to coax. There's no more of that bright laugh and excited giggle- a beam stretching from ear to ear. There's no more of that fiery temper- the sharp words intended to cut deep.

There's no more.

That Jiang Cheng is gone.

Nothing more than a thing of the past. A figment of his imagination.

In his place- stands a warrior.

A warrior that's weary and tired- that's gone through hell and back. A man carved by loss and pain- a desperate plea for help clear in the slanted brows and clenched fists that followed him like a wraith.

A warrior.

That's seen blood and death. Seen his family torn apart from him one by one.

A warrior.

That was never a word Lan Xichen had associated with his beloved little A-Cheng.

Because Jiang Cheng- as amazing as he was- was naive.

Even when Lotus Pier burned down, Jiang Cheng had not lost any of those he called dear. Even when Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli had died- Jiang Cheng had not lived long enough to feel the full effects of the grief. Even when the sky came toppling down- he still had Lan Xichen there to bear the brunt of it. Even when everything collapsed around him- he had people willing to shield him from the torment.

Even then.

He had someone there as his support system.

Jiang Cheng never knew loss.

He never knew it until it was too late.

And even then- he only experienced the very beginnings of it. Barely a touch before he had died.

It was too raw. More so shock than anything else.

The old Jiang Cheng never knew grief.

The new one did.

The new one had months and months to cope with his pain- months of being on the run and slipping from inn to inn. He had passed the first stage of shock- long since moved on to the next stage. He had wallowed in his despair- his devastation and denial for far too long. Understanding and hardening his heart.