XiCheng: The Last Lotus [AU- OMEGAVERSE]

22

"You kept my sword."

Wen Zhuliu let out a shuddering breath, noting with satisfaction the stricken look on Yu Ziyuan's face. A slight smile graced his lips as he stared at her, trying to convey the depths of his emotions.

"Ziyuan," he whispered, closing his eyes as a tear streaked down his face. "I'm sorry."

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I let you down, sorry that I left you. I'm sorry that I betrayed your trust, sorry that I couldn't stand and watch as the woman I loved fell for another man.

I'm sorry I lied to you, sorry that I tricked you.

I was jealous. So very jealous of Jiang Fengmian.

I was jealous of how only he could make you laugh with such pure abandon, how your eyes would light up at the very sight of him. I was jealous of how happy you were with him, how you gushed over him every time we met. I was jealous of how envious you would get any time you saw him with someone else. I was jealous- jealous because I wanted that to be me. I wanted you to look at me that way, to look at me with such love and devotion in your eyes. I wanted you to stare at me, your eyes searching for me from across the room. I wanted you to smile at me- that beaming, lovestruck grin that you gave him. I wanted you to see me- to really, truly see the depths of my feelings.

Yu Ziyuan. Do you know when I first fell in love with you? It was right after our first night hunt. My parents had just died, and I was on the run from a fierce corpse.

I thought I was going to die. I thought that this was it, thought that I was going to be swallowed up by the undead the same way my family was.

And I was ok with it. Because more than anything- I wanted my parents back. I wanted mother's tender smile and father's hearty laughs. I wanted her soft looks and his booming chuckles.

I had fully prepared myself to die, had thought my soul was going leave this Earth.

But then you came.

You and your fiery temper.

You came, and you whipped the hell out of that corpse, beating it into submission. And you glared at me- your violet eyes stormy and enraged. You grabbed me by the collar and tried to shake some sense into me.

You took me and gave me a home in Meiyu Shan. You comforted me, my sole anchor, in the storm. You held me close, promised me that everything would be alright. You hugged me, pulling my weak and exhausted body close. You smiled at me, wiping away the tears that trailed down my face. You whispered words in my ear, telling me that you would always be there for me.

And I believed you.

I believed you when you said you would always love me. I believed you when you said that you would be my best friend- my confidant. I believed you when you said that we would be as thick as thieves, taking the cultivational world by storm. I believed you when you said that nobody would ever replace me- that I had etched my spot in your heart.

I believed you- and I fell in love with you.

I fell in love with your soft smiles and sweet gestures. I fell in love with your adoring gaze and rosy blushes. I fell in love with your fierce pride and ferocious temper. I fell in love with your indignant looks and exasperated frowns. I fell in love with those terrifying scowls- those sharp words and disgusted looks.

I fell in love with you. And I thought you loved me too.

Do you know how crushed I was when you came to me, declaring how you would someday marry that Jiang Fengmian? Do you know how painful it was? To watch the love of my life pine after another man? Do you know how horrible it felt? To see you jumping up and down in glee when he smiled at you?