XiCheng: The Last Lotus [AU- OMEGAVERSE]

55

"You and Wangji will get along just fine."

The walk across Cloud Recesses is stony, to say the least. Lan Wangji stares straight ahead, lips pressed out in a flat line of irritation. He looks annoyed, like he would rather be doing anything than waste his time here with Jiang Cheng.

The slight twitching of his eyebrows every time Jiang Cheng makes a particularly barbed comment, a barely restrained clenching of his fists. The way his icy countenance would turn into an expression of constipated struggle. Like he was inches away from breaking the cold, bleak mask that was usually associated with the second jade.

Lan Wangji looked like he wanted to throttle Jiang Cheng.

Of course- he had a good reason to after all. Jiang Cheng himself- had been rather pleased with his performance today. He had managed to successfully piss off Lan Wangji, so close to pushing him off the point of no return.

They had walked around Cloud Recesses for the better part of the day- Jiang Cheng lazily waving a hand around as he makes a few snarky comments over the silliest things.

"Oh, young master Lan! Doesn't that tree look really interesting? Don't you think it would make a wonderful subject for A-Huan's latest masterpiece? Why the way it stands really reminds me of you! All tall and pretentious looking."

"Second master Lan! Would you look over there? Aren't those the latrines? Yes, yes- I know they smell like dog shit, but aren't they nice? Would you mind going over and giving me an in-depth idea of the conditions there? If I'm going to be the future wife of the sect leader, I simply must know if the restrooms are on par!"

"Oh, Lan-Xiong! Look up! I think that bird might've taken a shit on your robes! Or maybe- oh, it didn't? Well silly me. I must've mistaken it for the color of your clothes! You really do wear the dirtiest white."

"Lan-er, you hear that music? It sounds like a dying cow! Such a defective Lan. Must be one of your students."

"Young master! I think I see a cockroach, what do we do? Oh, where is it? Why, the cockroach is you, of course!"

And so on and so forth, until Lan Wangji was red-faced and fuming, only seconds away from taking Bichen, and slicing a clean hole through Jiang Cheng's chest.

God Jiang Cheng hadn't had this much fun in ages. Lan Wangji and him? Friends? Ha! Jiang Cheng would rather shove a rock up his ass than be friends with that ice block.

How Lan Xichen put up with his dead-wood of a brother, Jiang Cheng didn't know. But he knew that if he were Lan Wangji- he too would be emotionally constipated.

It's not easy being the defective one. Especially when your brother is just so much better than whatever you were.

God, Jiang Cheng would almost feel sorry for Lan Wangji- if the latter wasn't such a big asshole all the time.

Getting the short end of the stick isn't easy. Not when you have someone miles out of your league for a brother.

Jiang Cheng snorts, ready to shoot another thinly veiled insult Lan Wangji's way. (Because honestly, the short end of the stick or not- Lan Wangji was simply too much of a prick for Jiang Cheng not to be petty around him).

"Does Han-Guang Jun wish to see a magic trick? I can turn a human into a rat. Of course, it wouldn't work on you because you've clearly already embraced your inner rodent. No doubt-"

"Would you-" Lan Wangji interrupts, the second jade of Lan breaking one of his sect's rules for the first time in god knows how long- "shut up?" the illustrious Han-Guang Jun finishes, face a bright crimson from exertion.