XiCheng: The Last Lotus [AU- OMEGAVERSE]

47

Eight Years Later

Seclusion has not been kind to the illustrious Zewu Jun. It had robbed him of all his youthful splendor- wrapping its greedy fingers around his neck, slowly choking him in its hold.

It wasn't as if he were any less alluring- as if the years had robbed him of any of his former beauty. He wasn't ugly- no, not by any means. He was still the Lan Xichen of long ago- the man known as the First Jade, whose fair skin and perfect face made him the most eligible bachelor of his generation.

He still looked the same.

But at the same time- wasn't the same. Wasn't the same in any way that mattered.

There was no longer that trademark smile in place, that gentle, fond curve of his lips. There was none of the old joy and brightness- none of the past kindness and ready care. There wasn't anything like the once calm reassurement, the endless sea of patience. There was nothing of the warmth, the feeling of utter safety that seemed to radiate from Lan Xichen's carefully arranged features.

The impeccable manners, the graceful elegance. All lost.

All gone.

What was left- was a husk of a man. A man unable to move on from the demons of the past.

It was like he was stuck there. Forever faced with the guilt of losing his beloved.

It was like nothing had changed in these eight years of seclusion. And yet at the same time- everything had changed.

Lan Xichen's yearning and want hadn't changed. He still longed for the soft touches and sweet scent- still wished for the mixed smell of lotus and sandalwood, a perfect blend of the both of them. He still ached for the slanted violet eyes- the sharp features of Jiang Cheng that he had seen so often in his children.

It wasn't like Lan Xichen wanted to play favorites.

But he found it very difficult not to be slightly partial towards his youngest. Towards the boy who had his mother's eyes. And though it wasn't a big difference- not anything like the way Jiang Fengmian had so obviously favored Wei Wuxian, even Lan Xichen could admit to himself. In the private recesses of his own mind, already so consumed with guilt- he could admit that he desperately clung to anything that reminded him of Jiang Cheng.

And while Lan Xichen might've loved Lan Sizhui- even he had to concede. Lan Jingyi's spirit, so damn similar to his mate's- was what would sometimes make his heart beat painfully in his chest. Was what would sometimes fill him with such indescribable joy. Was what would make him close himself off from the world, feeling a bone-deep weariness unfurl in his gut.

Of course, Lan Xichen would gladly die for either of his little boys. Whether they looked like Jiang Cheng or not.

But it was hard not to feel a certain type of way towards Lan Jingyi.

Mainly because Lan Xichen worried for his younger boy.

Because Sizhui- as quiet as he was- was stronger than his brother. The child resembled Lan Xichen- his mind and heart set in stone. He knew when to leave things in the past- when to move on and look towards the future. He knew not to stew over the what-ifs, had learned enough from his father's mistakes. He knew not to bottle up things inside- often turning to his uncle or grandfather for help with his feelings.

And perhaps at first glance, one would think this nearly silent child had suffered the most of his mother's death.

But to look deeper- and one would see the determined set of his jaw, the resolute straightening of his back. They would see the way his eyes shone with kindness- how he told people his mother had died with an air of understanding about him, never trying to shy away from the truth.