Cunning
"Amidst a state of helplessness, I wanna find hope when there seems to be none at all."
Days passed by so slowly. Despite everything that had happened, I felt at peace. I had recently reflected of how I was, before all of this. I realize, the word brat is too much of an understatement of how I acted. My behavior to all the people around me was unacceptable.
Hindi ko aakalaing kailangan pang ihulog ako ng marahas galing sa tuktok na kinalalagyan ko para lang makita kung gaano ako ka- undeserving sa lahat ng tinatamasa ko noon. Oo, hindi ako mabuting tao. I treated everyone else like they are way below me, unworthy of my time and attention. Sa sobrang taas ng tingin ko sa sarili ko, I never accepted anyone as my friend. Ngayon ko lang narealize na ang lungkot-lungkot pala. I thought I was just really strong at hindi ko kailangan ng friends. But boy, I was wrong. Now that I've certainly died to the eyes of the world, I realized just how sad the life I had lived was. No one else said anything nice about my death, except my Mom and Dad. No one else cared. No one else mourned for me...
"Blaire might have been loathe by a lot of people because she was a snob and self-centered, but as a daughter, she's the sweetest. She cared so much, she loved us so much, especially her Grandmama. You can hate her all you want, but to me, my daughter is the best version of herself she can ever be. She's a fighter, she's strong and she's brave. I will never ever be ashamed of her."
My Mom's statement for the press on the day of 'my funeral' had been replaying on my mind repeatedly.
She looks so hurt and sorrowful as she cried all throughout her statement. Dad refused to say anything and just asked for the haters to stop bashing me and let me rest in peace. My Grandmama was still unconscious in the hospital. Lylian also said some stuff but I completely refuse to listen to her and just turned off the tv when she was about to say something. Melynda was the best-actress. She even fainted in front of the public again. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Zyan had the audacity to joke and say,
"She will be right back."
Many people were confused and were speculating that Zyan must have been super heartbroken about my death that he is uttering nonsense and wanting me to rise back from the dead so bad. They were saying how lucky I was to be loved this much by him. He's gone psycho, really!
It was all beyond utter madness. Who would have thought that I would witness what's it like when I die? It was entertaining at first but more than anything, it's an eye-opener for me. It showed me how cruel I was to people, how truly undeserving I am of sympathy from others because of my attitude and actions. It slapped me right hard in the face. And above all, it's just sad. That if I had really died, this is how it's gonna be for me.
So, apparently I just got buried today. But heck, no way am I going to be all depressed and devastated in my room! No way in hell!
"Please.." Nakadapa ako sa kama dito sa kwarto ni Zyan, both my hands under my chin to look up at him. He's sitting on the bed with me pero nasa laptop ang atensyon.
"No." He said without even looking at me.
"Come on! Promise, walang makakakilala sa akin. I swear! Mag-iingat ako tsaka may maskara naman akong gagamitin. Kaya nga masquerade party, hindi ba?"
Ilang segundong wala siyang naging reaksyon sa sinabi ko. I kept on staring at him, para bang pinipilit sya sa pamamagitan niyon. He glanced at me once and then he sighed. Itinabi niya ang laptop sa gilid niya at tiningnan akong mabuti.
I batted my eyelashes at him na may kasama pang puppy eyes. Umiling siya pero halata namang nagpipigil na ng ngiti ngayon.
"I could easily tell it's you, Blaire. Kahit pa nakatalikod ka at nasa malayo. It's dangerous for you. What if someone recognizes you just as easily as I do?"
I know he is already half-convinced about what I want. Pero masyado lang talaga siyang logical para pumayag nalang agad. Lumapit ako sa kanya at humiga sa hita niya. He raised his eyebrow at me. Tila alam kung anong ginagawa ko. I smiled seductively at him as I raised my hand and caressed his jaw and slowly drag it down to his neck.
"Syempre, ikaw madali mo akong makikilala. Kahit malayo at nakatalikod. Why? Kasi patay na patay ka sa akin." I said sweetly and in an almost whisper voice.
Hinintay kong tumawa siya o kaya ay ideny and sinabi ko pero walang dumating. Nakatitig lang siya at tila ba sumasang-ayon sa sinabi ko. Dahan-dahang biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko ng mapagtantong hindi niya talaga pabubulaanan iyon. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at ngumisi para itago ang kabang nararamdaman.
"Pero I'm sure ang ibang tao hindi ganun. Kaya wala kang dapat ipag-alala. No one will recognize me." Dagdag ko.
Bumangon ako mula sa pagkakahiga at hinarap siya. He looks like he is really thinking hard about it.
I leveled our gaze by putting my index finger on his chin to lift it up and leaned in closer to him. I placed a soft kiss on his lips and leaned back immediately.
Iniisip ko parte lang ito ng plano ko para mapapayag siya. But who am I kidding? I wanted to kiss him. That's the truth. Nahihiya at natatakot lang akong aminin sa sarili ko na kung kailan malabo na na maging kami, tsaka ko naman nararamdaman ang lahat ng ito para sa kanya. O baka naman noon pa talaga ay nandito na ito pero ngayon ko lang talaga napagtanto kung gaano ka bigat at kalalim ng nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.
He met my gaze twice as intensely and pulled me closer to him. Parang isang pangarap ko ang natupad ng halikan niya ako ng mas malalim sa halik na iginawad ko.
His lips took its sweet time exploring all the corners of my mouth making my heart go all crazy for him.
Hindi ko alam kung natutulak ko ba siya o kusa siyang dahan-dahang napahiga sa kama with me on top of him, passionately kissing him back.
My inhibitions flew out the window and my hands just started touching his chest down to his abdomen. Pinigilan ko ang sarili ko nang huminto siya sa paghalik. Our faces still close to each other and both breathing heavily. Nag-iinit ang pisngi ko sa hiya at kabang nararamdaman.
He kissed me again, harder this time. Although, I can sense that he's still in control of himself, his kiss is just so intense. Nakakahilo, nakakawala ng sarili.
Nang biglang tumunog ang laptop niya sa isang tawag. Mabilis na nagbalik ang diwa ko at kumalas sa kanya. I sat up straight and looked at his laptop and then him. Mukhang may online conference meeting yata siya. Gusto kong humagalpak ng tawa sa reaksyon ng mukha niya. Nakaawang ang labing pulang-pula pa dahil sa nangyari at tila ba sumasakit ang ulo na napahilamos nalang ng kamay sa mukha.
"Every damn time!" He muttered frustratedly. Tingin ko ang ibig niyang sabihin ay lagi nalang may istorbo sa aming dalawa. I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing at his frustration and he looked at me annoyed yet he smiled.
"I think that hot kiss meant yes?" I teased him with a smirk and an eyebrow raised.
Kunot-noong tiningnan niya ako at mas lalo lang nainis ng maalala ang gusto kong mangyari kanina pa. I wanted to host a masquerade party here, sa bahay niya. Kinukumbinsi ko siya kanina at tingin ko ngayon ay payag na siya. He must have thought I kissed him just to convince him. I mean partly but it didn't have to go that far. Nakaka- carried away din kasi talaga ang halik niya. He's a damn great kisser.
"You're as cunning as a fox." Aniya na umiiling-iling pa pero nakangiti naman.
Needless to say, I got the masquerade party I wanted. I smiled inwardly in triumph.
BINABASA MO ANG
The Fake Heiress
Romansa"I am the real Blaire Fenella Candelanza." I wanted so bad to scream the words. But it would be futile. Because that name does not belong to me.
