The Audaz

Chapter18

Sometimes, right in the middle of ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale. Mine begins and ends with one person standing right in front of me _ Xavier Evans. I could look all day at his beautiful face and never get tired. Yeah, I can't believe these are the words coming out of my own mouth. But, long gone is that egoistic girl.

 All I want to do is give up, yell at the top of my lungs that I love him. But I'm afraid of losing him, afraid of losing my dignity, afraid of losing the little trust I have left in men. 

 Xavier's hand tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear, making me tremble.

 "I didn't like him near you, Hailey." He declares calmly but in an authoritative tone. 

"W-what?" I stutter.

 "I couldn't see my brother with you. That's what you do to me. Don't you see how infuriated I am to you? Don't you see I'm crazy about you, Hailey?" 

My eyes try to look for his emotions, but all seem to go in vain_ focusing on something different from his words, it seems impossible at the moment. His words, the movement of his lips, the way he expresses every word with his eyes, seem more than enough for me. I'm afraid of this feeling of dependence on him.

 "What do you mean, Xavier?" I ask him cautiously.

 He stops for a second and then cups my face, running his thumb over my jaw, continuing to say, "I like you, Hailey." My breath is jammed at the very moment I hear these mystical words. Why does it feel like I've been given the world? Why do I feel so joyous? Maybe because, I wanted him to reciprocate the feelings. I want him to be mine, just mine.

 I grip his waist a little tighter, feeling nervous and giddy, soon realizing there are 100 or more people in the club with us.

Detaching myself from him instantly, I run out, hoping to get some air. Even if I want to cherish this moment, I still want to save the little self-esteem left somewhere in the corner of my soul. Taking the peaceful ambiance of outside, I sit on the bench. I feel that my heart is still beating ruthlessly against my ribcage. My ear feels warm, and I'm pretty sure I look as red as a beetroot. Soon I feel like someone's sitting next to me. Knowing who it is, I dare not move my head, as I already know that once I look into those green eyes again, I will be gone.

 "Don't ever run away from me again." Xavier's voice hits my ear, which causes me to close my eyes. The embellishment of his voice is difficult to explain.

 I move my neck toward him, again drowning in his seductive eyes. However, unlike before, this time I find something in them_ fear_ fear that something might be taken away from him.

 "I can't do this Xavier," I painfully say. 

"Neither can I." He answers by looking at me carefully.

 "But I need to be close to you, I have to hold you. Not for you, but for me. I'm so attracted to you, Hailey. Give me a chance, please. I'll never let you down. I promise." 

A tear slides my eye. The emotion that I feel in my heart squeezes my whole soul.

 "I'm trusting you, Xavier. You're the first, I'll open up too, please don't break me." I whisper. 

A triumphant smile takes place on his face, and he embraces my hand. "Thank you so much, Hailey, I'll make every second you spend with me unforgettable for you."

I decide to remain silent. A part of me feels like I've won the world, and the other feels dark and afraid of being disgraced.

 "You don't seem to like it here. Do you want me to take you home?" He asks gently. 

 "No, thank you, I'm going with Landon. He's probably looking for me." I notice how his jaw clenches at the mention of Landon, and how he enters into deep thought. After about two minutes of silence, he finally decides to speak.

 "I don't like how close you are to Landon." He declares with authority. If he had been any other man in the universe, I would have hit him, but this is Xavier. To hear this from him makes my heart flutter. This possessiveness makes me feel special. 

"Landon is my family, I can never leave him," I honestly say.

 "Not even for me?" He asks arrogantly.

 "I don't think this choice makes any sense," I say irritated. I just hope that God never puts me in a position where I have to choose between these two. Landon is my life, whereas Xavier feels like a passion.

 "We'll have this discussion later, I'll leave it for now, as you seem extremely fascinating." He flirts, making me blush. 

"I have to go in, my friends should be waiting for me," I say, rising reluctantly from the bench. Xavier stares at me, calculating every move, and then gets up, moving closer to me.

 "W-what are you doing?"

 "Will you give me the honors of taking you on a date Hailey Parker?" He asks giving a breath-taking smile. 

My heart just exploded into a million pieces. Dear friends, if one of you finds these pieces, try to fix them once.

 Taking a breath, I decide to make one of the toughest decisions of my life.

 "Yes", I say, and then turn around, without a single look. Because I know if I stay even for a minute, I wouldn't be able to control my feelings and will  eventually ridicule myself. 

 There's no doubt about it when I say, "Love is disastrous."