A Thousand Wounds

Wound 22

Wound 22

Hindi mabura ang nakakainis na ngisi ni Mela. Buong araw ay nanatili ang kaniyang nanghahamong mga titig na lagi ko na lamang iniirapan.

Wala akong ibang masagot sa kaniyang mga kumprontasyon kaninang umaga kundi ang katahimikan. Hindi ko alam ngunit sadyang natamaan ako, at mahirap tanggapin iyon. This is the first time she won in our argument, but that does not affect me. It is her words that caught me off guard.

"What's wrong?"

Napalingon ako kay Mara nang magsalita ito.

"Bakit ang bugnutin mo ata?"

Umiling lamang ako at napabuntong-hininga. "It's nothing."

Ngunit ang kaniyang naninimbang na mga titig ay nanatili sa akin. Pilit akong ngumiti sa kaniya.

But she just sighed as if giving up. "You're hiding something from us again," wika niya kaya naman unti-unting naglaho ang pilit na ngiti sa aking labi.

Napaiwas ako ng tingin nang seryoso niya akong tinitigan sa mata. Sky and Reese, who are ahead of us, halted when Mara and I stopped walking.

"Anong meron?" usyuso ni Reese nang lumapit silang dalawa ni Sky.

"Haven't you noticed the changes in her actions lately?" Mara pointed the question to the two.

"Ang alin?" tanong pa ni Reese kaya naman muling napabuntong-hininga si Mara.

"May itinatago ka sa amin 'no?"

I bit my lower lip. Inipon ko ang lakas ng loob upang salubungin ang kaniyang matiim na paninitig.

"I just wanted to keep things for myself first. I'll tell you once I'm ready," pag-amin ko.

"Why? May pinagdadaanan ka ba, bruha?" Reese's worried voice caught my attention.

"Reese is right. Are you okay, Belle?" lumapit naman si Sky at humawak sa aking braso.

I smiled at them genuinely.

"It's fine. Kakayanin ko rin ito. I'm just torn and feeling lost these days."

"I will share it with you soon, guys. Kailangan ko lang mag-ipon ng lakas ng loob upang sabihin sa inyo.." I continued.

Lumamlam ang seryosong mga mata ni Mara.

"You should have told us the problem, Belle. You are keeping things to yourself, and it's not healthy," the strictness in her voice is laced with concern.

But then, Sky spoke.

"Don't be too hard on her, Mara. She'll open up when she wants to. Let's not pressure her."

Sa sinabi ni Sky ay tila nahimasmasan si Mara. "I'm sorry," she said with her apologetic smile. "So insensitive of me.."

I replied with a small smile on my lips. I'm really thankful that I have these three.

After a moment of silence, Mara voiced out her sentiments.

"I'm just worried for you, Belle. Lagi mo na lang kasing sinasarili ang problema. Paulit-ulit na lang. It's okay to keep a secret, but too much will always be unhealthy.

Napahugot ito ng malalim na hininga bago nagpatuloy. "Natatakot pa ako na ito ang maging dahilan ng pagkasira nating apat.."

Mariin akong napalunok at napaiwas ng tingin. "I know. I'm sorry that I always forget your presence, mga bruha.."

"I hope you won't grow weary of me," I continued, but those words came like pleading.

Mara sighed again and went near me. "We won't. I'm sorry for being insensitive, Belle," she said and embraced me.