A Thousand Wounds

Wound 39

Wound 39

"Uwi na tayo," I mumbled and held Tonton's hand.

Akay-akay ko ang anak na tumalikod at tinahak ang daan patungo sa parking area.

"Belle, sandal!" napapikit ako nang marinig ang tinig ni Mara.

Nakakalimang hakbang pa lamang ako nang pigilan ako ni Cleyton. He gently held my arm and made me face him, kaya't nabitawan ko si Tonton.

Nagtatanong ang mga mata nito. Hindi na niya kailangang isaboses ang mga katanungan sa kaniyang mga titig dahil agad ko rin itong nahapuhap.

"Please, let's just go home, Cley.." I whispered.

His eyes mellowed with a subtle glint before he gave in and nodded.

Bumaba ang kaniyang kamay at marahang hinaplos ang likod ng aking palad. "If you're not yet ready to talk to them, you should tell them. Don't just run away."

Humigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sa aking kamay. "Tonton and I will always be here for you. Remember that, baby."

Nahigit ko ang hininga nang dumukwang ito at marahang hinalikan ang aking noo. "We'll wait for you at the car."

Nang makaalis sina Cleyton at Tonton ay napahugot ako ng malalim na hininga. I clenched my fist and drew a shaky breath as I slowly faced those three.

Tumikhim si Sky, tila pinakikiramdaman ang bawat isa. "Uhmm.. Ano.. Gusto niyong maupo muna tayo 'ron?"

Umiling ako at umiwas ng tingin. "No need. If you wanted to talk about the past, I'm sorry, but I can't entertain such a topic."

"Belle.." Sa marahang pagsinghap niyon ni Mara ay napabaling ako sa kaniya.

Mapait akong ngumiti. "Hindi pa ako handa. Pasensiya na."

I immediately turned my back, but Mara was quick to call me again. "Wait, Belle!"

Dahan-dahan akong humarap.

Her eyes mellowed, mirroring my sad smile. "We know how much we have hurt you.. and we wanted to talk to you, not only to apologize but also to make amends."

Nang wala silang narinig mula sa akin ay nagpatuloy ito. "We understand how uncomfortable you are while facing us right now, so we'll give you time."

"Here is my calling card. Call me whenever you're ready. We'll do it at your pace."

Napatingin ako sa kamay niyang nakalahad sa aking harapan. I bit my lower lip as I accepted the card with shaky hands.

"I-I have to go.." nanginig ang boses ko.

Naabutan ko si Tonton sa backseat ng sasakyan na paubos na ang hawak-hawak na dirty ice-cream.

Nang maikabit ang seatbelt ay napabaling ako sa driver's seat. Cleyton kept his eyes on me.

"You okay? How did it go?"

Tipid akong tumango. "It was fine."

Inayos ko ng nagulong buhok at tumuwid ng upo. "We should probably go. Baka naghihintay na sina Mama."

Cleyton was able to get the message that I don't want to talk about it. He nodded and started to drive.

It was past three in the afternoon when we arrived at the columbarium. Curiosity is evident on Tonton's face as he roamed his eyes around the area.

Nahigit ko ang aking hininga nang tumigil kami sa urn ni Daddy. Linukob ng pangungulila ang aking damdamin.

Staring at Dad's smiling photo beside the urn made my insides churn. Nangingilid ang luhang napahugot ako ng malalim na hininga.