I'll Be Your Strength

"You never cared about yourself, just everyone else."

Yup, this chapter has a whooooole lot of profanity in it so if you're a priss don't read it. Plus, this may be triggering so be careful.

"You never cared about yourself, just everyone else."

Chapter 8:

-NATHANS POV- 

I walk out of the bathroom and saw everyone in the living room. No one said anything and everyone was kind o lost in their thoughts. 

Siva saw me coming up and said, "Eeey bud!!" 

Everyone turned and smiled at me. Of course Jay cracked a joke about my penis, I rolled my eyes and played along. I left the group momentarily to put on some boxers and sweats, not even bothering with a shirt. I heard everyone laugh from my room and grinned to myself. I shook my head, not even wanting to wonder what they were talking about. I stepped back into the living room, and Ori scooted over. Once I sat down, Ori laid her head on my shoulder and my hand found her waist. I didn't pay much attention to the boys, and I could tell she wasn't either. We got lost in our own little chatter. 

"I did not!" I defended. 

She giggled, "did too!" 

"Youre a liar!!" 

"Nope, I don't lie."  

"Yeah, you do." 

She moved in closer and looked me in the eye. I could feel her hot breath on my lips, but barely. 

"Sloth boy, you got it all wrong." 

I didn't reply. Instead, I looked at her lips, and slowly moved in. She inched closer, just a tiny bit and our lips touched. Everyone stopped talking, and I'm pretty sure they were just staring at us. I moved in closer and she did the same, our lips perfectly in sync. 

"Bekie." This little voice inside my head whispered, "Bekie."  

I pulled away instantly, and felt my insides churn.

I walked back into my room and started pacing the floors. The pain, it was back. But then again, did it ever leave? Bekie was gone, and it was all because of me.

I fucked up, I probably did something and didn't even realise it, I probably said something like the insensitive prick I am.

"Fuck fuck fuck." I muttered under my breath. "Stop thinking like this Sykes. Stop." I tried drowning out the voices by covering my ears, but they didnt' stop.

You're the real reason she didn't, yanno. She just didn't want to make you feel bad.

You should be in her place you little asshole, she deserved to live, but you don't.

Why are you even still here?

What the fuck's wrong with you?

You're worthless, you're useless, and you're a fuck up.

Blood, blood, blood. Too much fucking blood. Why was it racing through me when it could be in Bekie's body? She could be living, she could be here.

Fuck.

I ran into my closet in search for a blade, I needed to get rid of it. There's too much fucking blood.

-ORI'S POV-

"Nathan?" I slowly walked up the stairs into his room. "You ok?" I trailed my fingers across the wall until I reach his walk- in closet. "Nath... you in there?"

I heard a faint voice,"Ahh...shit."

I opened the door, "Nathan are yo-" I stopped midsentence to the sight of Nathan's arm covered in blood.

"Oh my God."

"Jesus fucking Christ...Get out, Ori."

"What...why...what--"

"Just, get out."

"Why in the bloody hell would you do that to yourself?"

"It doesn't matter, just leave."

"How can you say it doesn't matter you could've--"

"It never matters, it never did,"

"It never mattered huh? Because you never cared about yourself, just everyone else."

"Stop it, Ori. I'm not messing around."

"Yeah, of course you're not."

"What the hell do you want from me?" He turned to look at me, "I've done everything for everyone else, and this is the only thing I'm doing for myself, and you're telling me to stop?"

"Exactly, good job Nathan, you've learned how to listen."

"Don't be a fucking bitch."

I stood there, my mouth slightly open in shock, frozen.

"Oh..." I said softly, before turning around leaving.

"No...don't leave."

I turned around and face him in disbelief, "Why the fuck should I? Go ahead, tear your life apart, why does any of it matter to me, huh? I'm just a fucking little bitch of a fan who cared a little too much. You wanted me to leave? Fine."

Nathan broke our eye contact and shifted it to anywhere but me. "Okay, fine."

I stared at him frustrated with my eyebrows furrowed, and pushed my hair behind my ear, before leaving and closing the door. I took my phone out of my pocket and quickly dialed a number I had never used before.

"Hello? 911. Yes, my friend is cutting himself"

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Oooh plot twist~~ ;) :DD COMMENT!!