ghosting - awesamdude

5.

Khai wrote a letter, and as she held the lighter to the bottom of the paper, everything felt a little easier.

She had shut her phone off for the past three days, just completely staying offline. The last thing she saw was Sam's reply to her tweet.

It made her feel better about herself - and then guilty. Guilty that she was the reason the reply was the first one in four months.

She was a bad person. She knew that. Anyone who knew her probably knew that.

At least she was good at hiding it.

She slid into her desk chair, powering on her PC, slipping on her headset. She was going to stream.

"Uh- hello chat!" She said, smiling at her web cam as viewers started to trickle in.

"So! It's been a hot minute since I've streamed, between moving and all that, but today I am joining the Dream SMP! As some of you guys know, these guys have been my friends for like, a fucking long time. So, here we go."

She streamed for three hours, raiding Ranboo when she was over, dropping a heart in the chat and then shutting down her PC, and turning on her phone.

sam
can we talk?

Khai wanted to say no.

khai
of course

Khai did not say no.

( . . . )

God, it was stupid, but she was scared to pick up the phone. She did on the fifth ring, inhaling as she held it up to her ear.

"Khai?"

She felt like everything came crumbling down. His voice was so familiar. God, she had missed him. She choked on her words, mentally cursing herself for being an idiot before speaking. "Uh." Okay. That was shit. She blinked. "Hi. Hello."

The sound of his laugh filled her ears and she felt like she was floating.

"Hello, Khai." He mumbled, and she could hear his smile.

"Hello, Sam." She mimicked, also smiling.

"I'm sorry about- well, everything." He said, and Khai stopped smiling. A bit of light conversation to start off the phone call, right?

"Well. Yeah." She muttered.

"And I wanted to talk about-" He inhaled. "Us. I guess. What happened."

"Ah." Khai deflated.

"I know you're going through a lot right now, Khai, and I want to be there for you because you're... you're Khai. You're my best friend. But you know, you ghosted me completely with no explanation, for six months. That's a long time."

"Sam," her voice felt small, "I'm sorry."

He paused, as if waiting for something else, then sighed angrily. "That's it?"

"No- I- No." She stuttered. "I know I hurt you Sam, and I am so sorry I did. I regret it. I really do. And I have an explanation for it but I can't tell you. I cant. I'm sorry."

"Khai, that isn't good enough. Six months of fucking nothing. I want to know why."

Hearing him swear was strange. She shut her eyes.

"Please. Please trust me. I can't tell you." She said, exasperated.

Sam didn't speak for a minute. "Fine. Fine. You don't have to tell me."

"Sam, please. I would tell you if you absolutely needed to know. And you don't. And trust me, if I tell you it will make everything worse. Please."

"I don't know, Khai." He exhaled. "You... you'd tell me if I needed to know, right?"

"Yes. Yes, of course."

"Okay. Okay. I just want my best friend back, Khai. I miss you."

"I miss you too." She replied. More than you know.

"And I think I figured out a way to solve your problem." Sam said, suddenly sounding very animated.

Khai, despite herself, grinned. "Do tell."

"Everyone thinks you're gay, right?"

"They're not entirely wrong-"

"Shh. Khai, they won't think you're gay if they think you're dating me."

She faltered. "I- what the fuck?"

an/
y'all didn't see that coming